Behind Blue Eyes
by Chezza
Summary: By Chezza & CeCeSmith. Season Eight AU, SJ eventually. Carter's seeing things she shouldn't be seeing & feeling things she shouldn't be feeling... Intrigued? Have a read! Chapter TwentyTwo up!
1. Story Info & Disclaimer

**Title: **Behind Blue Eyes

**Authors: **Chezza & CeCeSmith

**E-mail: **WIP

**Sequel/Series:** Sequel to 'Aftermath' by CeCeSmith but can be read as a stand-alone

**Spoilers:** Evolution, Grace, Chimera, Death Knell, Heroes, The Lost City, Affinity

**Season: **Eight

**Category: **AU Mystery/Drama/Romance

**Pairings: **S/J UST, S/P, S/J RST

**Characters: **Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Jacob Carter

**Rating**: PG-13

**Warnings: **Language, violence, minor character death

**Archive: **Chezza's Gate, Helio, Gateworld, SJD, Jackfic, Carterfic, SJFic… Anyone else, please ask

**Disclaimer: **Stargate's not mine as I'm sure you all know,

nor do it's characters belong to me.

This kind of writing earns me no dough,

so you get to read my fic for free!

**Authors Notes:** The storyline for this fic diverges from canon after The Lost City, but does reference several events from Season Eight. The title is shamelessly lifted from the song by The Who and the opening scene is based heavily on the accompanying video to Limp Bizkit's remake of said song. Because it fitted.

This fic is an indirect sequel to 'Aftermath' by CeCeSmith, which can be found on my profile page. However, it is not necessary for you to have read 'Aftermath' in order for this story to make sense, as it works perfectly well as a standalone. All you need to know is that Jack survived the predicament he found himself in at the end of the Lost City, by hitching a ride in Carter's head rather than an Asgard ship's computer system, until they were able to fix him up.

As always, thanks go to **dragonlady** for the beta. Flames will be used to light Teal'c's candles (not like that! Get your mind outta the gutter, f'cryin' out loud!) On the other hand, constructive feedback and criticism is always gratefully received and appreciated. Enjoy folks!

**_© Chezza & CeCeSmith, Feb 2005_**

_**o0o**_

Now that the dull stuff is out of the way, on with the story…


	2. Prologue

**_o0o_**

**Prologue**

She was walking down a long corridor. Concrete walls, pipes overhead, painted lines on the floor.

The SGC.

But she didn't recognise this part of the base. There was a single door at the end.

It was locked.

She turned the key and opened it. Recognition arrived in a rush, as memory provided the necessary clues.

"_Because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to."_

Her breath caught.

He was sat on the floor. Knees bent, elbows resting on them, fingers tangled together. The way she always dreamt of him. He looked up as she entered, rising to his feet as she walked towards him. Their gazes locked but she didn't stop. Stepping right up to him, she invaded his personal space in a way she could only dream of doing without his consent.

He didn't object.

Her arms raised of their own volition to curl around his neck, pulling his head down. Still there was no protest. Hands cupped her face, their touch gentle yet firm as lips met.

They kissed.

Her eyes opened as the kiss reached it's end, her arms falling away. She stared into brown eyes so familiar to her and he smiled. A sad little expression she'd never seen before. Fingers ran in a soft caress down her cheek.

He stepped back.

At some point, she wasn't sure when or how, they had turned around. He now stood between her and the door. The sad smile crossed his face once more, then he turned away.

She stood and watched.

He strode across the room and out of the door, pulling it shut behind him. Leaving her stood with her back to the wall, incapable of movement. The quiet 'snick' of a key clicking into place, broke through her sudden paralysis.

She dived across the room, hand moving automatically to the door handle. It didn't open. Through the tiny pane of glass in the metal of the door, she saw him walking away. Panic filled her. He'd locked her in! He was leaving her behind! She banged frantically on the door, trying to get his attention.

"Colonel! Colonel!"

'_Don't leave me here!'_

He turned around, meeting her frantic gaze with a calm expression. _'Why?'_ Her eyes asked in mute confusion.

He gazed at her steadily through the glass.

"You're the one who wanted to leave it in the room, Sam."

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_


	3. Chapter One

**AN: Because I'm such a nice person, I figured I'd give those of you reading this – yes, that's all two of you ;) - the prologue and the first chapter on the same day…now aren't I good to you?**

**:grins: **

**Please R n R!**

**_o0o_**

**Part One**

"No!"

She woke with a start, her heart racing and breathing laboured as she sat bolt upright in bed. She cast her gaze around wildly, gradually relaxing as her surroundings swam into focus, proving to be the familiar four walls of her bedroom, rather than some strange base corridor.

She scrubbed a hand over her face, blinking back tears. It was the third time in as many months she'd had this particular dream. It didn't make it any less painful.

Movement at her side made her pause, hand freezing in place over her eyes, before she lowered it slowly, afraid to look.

"Sam? Hon?" A sleep-drugged voice murmured.

She turned her head, mind still fuzzy from the last remnants of the dream and expecting a long, lean body with drowsy chocolate-brown eyes and silvered sleep-ruffled hair.

The reality was somewhat different, shocking her into sudden and complete wakefulness.

The eyes were similar, but more coffee than chocolate and that was where the similarities ended. The hair was sandy brown, not silver. The body shorter, more stocky. An acute wave of disappointment washed over her, breath-taking in it's intensity.

It was closely followed by a wave of guilt which almost swamped her as the coffee-brown eyes narrowed in concern. His expression of tender worry bringing the tears welling up once more. She leant down and kissed him gently.

"It's okay, Pete. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

He frowned, still more than half-asleep. "'f 'y' sure?"

Definitely more than half-asleep.

"Yeah, go back to sleep."

"'k'." He murmured, eyes drifting shut.

She sat watching him, hoping that despite what she'd said, he'd ignore her words and stay awake, would realise that she needed him. That she wanted his comfort, but was too reluctant to ask.

After a few minutes, a soft snore escaped and she sighed sadly in disappointment, before sliding carefully out of bed to avoid waking him up once more. She wouldn't be sleeping anymore tonight. Taking her robe from the back of the door, she wrapped it around herself before quietly opening the door and walking to the bathroom.

Working by moonlight, she splashed cold water on her face, staring at the face in the mirror. The monochromatic effect of the moon's light threw her face into sharp relief, making the shadows stand out.

She looked tired. It was unsurprising. She wasn't sleeping well these days. More so, whenever Pete stayed over. Because that was when the dreams came, in some form or another. Mostly vague but sometimes vivid. Exposing the lie, laying it all bare with startling clarity. Every time, without fail. Ever since…

"_Fine. We'll play this your way. Locked forever in a damn room with no door!"_

The first time it happened, she'd woken up shaken, almost in tears. Terrified at the thought of him walking away. Of losing him because of her own stupid decisions. But only almost because Sam Carter didn't cry. Not in front of Pete. She couldn't.

Which was weird since she'd being crying in front of Daniel for years. She'd even cried in front of Teal'c. And the General. Both of them in fact, since he was a General now as well and no longer her Colonel. She felt the separation, deeply. The walls between them having become seemingly insurmountable.

Yet she didn't feel comfortable crying in front of the man sharing her life. Sharing her bed. It was so supremely screwed up, even she recognised it and in apology and guilt and a need to feel someone there, had pulled him to her and let him help her forget.

Afterwards, he fell into a happy, contented slumber. While she lay awake, still filled with fear and now guilt, from using one man to forget another.

_**o0o**_

The second time came after Pete's proposal.

"_I haven't said yes."_

"_And yet…you haven't said no."_

_"What about you, sir? If things were different..."_

"_I wouldn't be here."_

Their relationship strained in the months since she denied him, she couldn't fathom the meaning behind his words. It was at that point she realised her subconscious was nothing more than a naïve idiot.

"_I will always be there for you, no matter what."_

A naïve idiot looking at life through rose-tinted glasses. She pushed him away, yet expected him to be her safe bet for whenever she needed him. She wouldn't stand for being treated in such a way, so it was unsurprising his reply had been guarded and non-committal. Jack O'Neill was not exactly known for being expressive of his emotions.

Unless he was pissed. Which, she acknowledged, he probably was. She knew she would be in his place. For all she knew, she may have easily destroyed any chance of there ever being more to their relationship, than that of Second to CO.

She had a nasty feeling that was the point her subconscious was trying to get across. Which really was more than a little unfair of it, since it was it's advice she'd followed to cause this whole mess in the first place.

So she procrastinated. Too afraid of rejection to ask, too scared of the loss of her dreams to find out. Hell, she didn't know what to think. Or even what to feel. And then there was Pete. The innocent party, stuck in the middle of their twisted, complicated dance.

The man who knew precisely what – or should that be whom - he wanted and was determined to go for it. Unfortunately, it was the exact kind of pressure she really did. Not. Need. Not when she couldn't even figure out what – whom - she wanted.

Dammit.

So she told him no. That it was too soon and she wasn't ready. It wasn't a lie, not really, because she couldn't imagine a life with him. What they had, simply didn't feel that serious to her. Not yet. Maybe it never would.

Her mind still replaced him with someone else. Perhaps it was always going to be that way. Until she let go and tried to move on. Except she couldn't seem to give up hope, to settle for less than her heart still insisted she could have, even now after everything.

Only that had not been the end of it.

She'd expected Pete to give up, cut his losses and run after her rejection. Leave her alone once more. Trouble was…he hadn't. He'd stayed. Persisted. Claimed not to mind and that he could wait. Joked he'd simply have to try harder.

It hurt.

He'd been so good to her. So willing to accept whatever she was prepared to give…however little. After everything he'd done for her, for them, how could she tell him that no matter how hard he tried, it might never be enough?

She couldn't, he didn't deserve it. Plus it was nice having someone in her life for whom she was allowed to care. A man who was permitted to show her the love and affection she desperately craved. And perhaps in time, she could learn to feel the same for him in return. So he stayed.

And the dreams continued. Which didn't come as a huge surprise. But in their aftermath, she no longer allowed herself the comfort of her lover's touch.

_**o0o**_

Tonight was the third time.

'"_I'm putting in for a transfer to the 'Springs. Might make things easier."_

"_Pete, you don't have to – "_

"_I know. I want to, I'll be able to see you more often this way."_

There was a definite pattern emerging here. Anyone with half an interest in mathematics could see it. Hell, she was amazed Pete hadn't seen it. Maybe he had and simply wasn't mentioning it.

Turning off the faucet, she dried her face and walked silently into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of water she wandered into the lounge and sat down on her sofa. Tucking her feet under, she huddled into her robe, seeking comfort in it's warmth. She wouldn't return to her bed tonight. Not with Pete sleeping there.

She didn't want his comfort. She didn't deserve it. Shame prevented her from asking for his comfort, even remaining in the warmth of his presence felt wrong.

Because he wasn't the man whose comfort she wanted. It wasn't his arms she wanted wrapped around her, his voice whispering in her ear, telling her that it was okay. To ask for such from him felt like a betrayal. But only after the dream.

After the dream, it felt too much like she was taking advantage of his good nature.

And that was the worst of it. Because she knew that was precisely what she was doing. With him, she could just be…Sam. She didn't have to think about protocol, regulations, the danger of over-stepping the line. In comparison, he was easy to be with, sweet and funny, giving and gentle…with him she could be someone she'd never been before. She found she liked being that person.

In his arms, she could forget who she was and all things required of her. At least for a time. She loved being with him, of that there was no doubt, loved what his presence meant for her…but despite it all, she found she didn't miss him when he wasn't there.

So the guilt increased. And in the back of her mind, her conscience whispered that she was using him and his feelings for her. That she was having her cake and eating it. That one day, it was all going to come crashing down around her ears, along with a myriad of other dreadful clichés.

"_You know how I feel about clichés. Actually, you know how I feel about clichés…"_

The thought terrified her…because she knew it was true.

Sooner or later, she would have to decide between the man she had and the man she tried not to want. And the thought kept her awake. The way it did the time before and the time before that and all the times before that. Because she didn't know which choice she would make.

So instead, she sat and watched the sun rise, saw the world come awake. When it was still early but not too early, she took her glass back to the kitchen and had her morning shower.

Pete had her coffee ready in the kitchen when she was done and she didn't flinch from his good morning kiss. She drank her coffee, neither of them mentioning the night before and the fact that she had not come back to bed. She was still not sure whether he even realised, each time it happened. If he did, it was simply yet another thing never mentioned.

When she was finished, she hugged him goodbye at the door as she left for the base. Telling him to lock up on his way out and promising to call him about the weekend. Five hours later, he was the furthest thing from her mind.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_


	4. Chapter Two

**AN: Wow! It looks like there are more than two people reading this, lol. Thanks to everybody who has reviewed...I think I've had more for this unfinished story, than I have for some of the complete ones I've posted. That's obviously where I was going wrong ;) But as I don't like to hold folks to ransom, here's part two...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Two**

"Off-world activation! Medical team to the Gate Room!"

The blaring announcement came through the speakers as the red lights in the corridor outside her lab, alerted all base personnel in the vicinity of an incoming wormhole. Jerked out of her concentration, Sam swore as she flinched in reaction. The tool held in her hands hit the delicate wires and sparked, sending a jolt of static up her arm.

She dropped it, flexing her fingers in reaction to the sudden tingling sensation and rotating her shoulder to work out the lingering numbness. She wondered which team it might be that was returning in such a state and had to fling her hand out to steady herself against the table when she staggered.

A strong wave of horror and worry washed over her, followed by a sense of reluctant resolve. She breathed in deeply, riding out the emotions and opened her eyes again. She was gradually becoming used to this happening. It had become more and more frequent since the Colonel – no, the General's – uninvited stay in her head. She hypothesised to herself that perhaps it was a side-affect of the procedure.

Many of the occasions when it occurred appeared to be prescient, the emotions a pre-cursor to an event, so perhaps it was a form of pre-cognition. However, the General hadn't admitted to anything similar so she kept quiet. It was an ability difficult to describe and one which would no doubt prove to be difficult to analyse, if she mentioned it. The fear of being seen as crazy still lurked in the edges of her mind.

If Janet were still here, perhaps she would have said something. But Janet was gone. All that remained were memories of the pretty vivacious woman who had been her best friend and the familiar ache of loss which accompanied the thought. So Sam stayed silent.

Her phone rang and a brief panic invaded her heart. Tentatively, she picked up the handset.

"Carter." She answered with forced control.

"Colonel, the General wants you to report to his office immediately." Sergeant Harriman informed her calmly.

Too calmly.

Sam swallowed, struggling hard against the sense that her world was about to come crashing down around her ears.

"I'm on my way." She replied, void of emotion. She hung up the receiver and stood shakily to her feet.

With a deep breath, she turned and left her lab, internally dreading what she knew must be very bad news. She showed no outward sign of it, had been in too many of these types of situations, was too well trained to be that obvious. Only a very few people knew her well enough to realise that at this very moment, she was completely terrified of what was waiting for her in the General's office.

She had no fear of the man himself, quite the opposite actually. It was what he knew, or what he didn't know, which truly scared her.

_**o0o**_

Entering the briefing room, the first thing Sam noticed was the utter silence. None of the normal sounds or noises filtered into the room from the control room. The office door in front of her was partially open, but only enough to see the man sitting behind the desk.

His expression was completely unreadable.

In Sam's mind it could only mean one thing, someone had died. Someone she knew. Someone with whom the General must have had some personal connection, or he wouldn't be trying so hard to hide his emotions.

Sam approached the doorway, but paused before stepping through.

Jack sat in his chair, completely still. His hands were clasped and his eyes downcast, focused on his desk, as if he dared not look at her. His entire posture radiated tension throughout the room. Needing to break it, Sam cleared her throat quietly.

"Sir?"

Her voice seemed to startle him and his head shot up, eyes latching onto hers. She received a quick impression of sorrow and compassion, before he blinked quickly and motioned for her to sit down.

"Carter." He started, his voice choked.

He coughed slightly then began again. This time stating coolly, "Sam…we just received word that your dad — "

"No."

She didn't want to believe it. She couldn't believe it. Not now. Not after everything… Sam sprang to her feet and spun round, intent on leaving the room, unsure of where she wished to go, only knowing she couldn't hear this. That she had to leave. Right now. Before he said it and made it real.

As if anticipating her attempt to bolt, she found Jack stood in front of her, blocking the door. He pulled it shut behind him as he continued.

"Sam, I'm sorry. SG-6 just came in hot, under fire from a Super Soldier. They saw Jacob's body lying on the ground, several meters from the gate. They tried to get to him, but Miller was hit and they had to leave. They couldn't risk getting cut off from the gate…"

Oh, god. She couldn't hear this…

Jack put his hands gently on her shoulders, the small gesture of comfort and friendship radiating a feeling of warmth and support throughout her, which threatened to soak into her very bones. She shivered in reaction, feeling the beginning of tears, or a scream, or something, well up in her throat. No! She would not break down over this!

Impatiently, she forced the feeling away. It wasn't what she wanted right now. For that matter, it wasn't even what she needed. Straightening her spine, Sam stared into his face and clenched her jaw tightly, shrugging off his hands. She didn't want his support, dammit! She wanted him to save her father!

"That doesn't mean he's dead! We need to bring him here. Send SG-1 to get him."

The fact that she was attempting to give an order to a superior officer never even crossed her mind.

Dropping his arms back to his side, Jack shook his head. "I can't, not yet anyway."

He saw the defiant look in her eyes and continued, "Carter, SG-6 barely made it out in time. They said there were at least three of the soldiers marchin' round the gate perimeter. I can't send anyone until we know they've left."

"We can't afford to wait, sir. If he's alive, he'll need medical attention!" Sam argued, struggling to control the tremor of fear and anger which threatened to unleash itself.

Again, Jack shook his head.

"Colonel, I'm sorry, but you know the rules. We'll wait an hour, then dial it up and do a recon of the area. If and I repeat if, it appears clear, then I'll allow SG-12 go through and check things out, with SG-5 as backup."

Gritting her teeth to the point of pain, Sam closed her eyes against the seething mass of fury bubbling up inside. She opened her eyes and let rip.

"Respectfully, sir," she practically spat the words, "We don't leave our people behind!"

Jack flinched as if he could feel the emotion behind every word and moved out of her way to sag back down into the leather chair behind his desk.

"Carter…I know you know this, but technically speaking, Jacob is a Tok'ra."

He saw her quick intake of breath and cut her off. "He is also one of us, but I cannot, I will not, risk the lives of this command without taking all available precautions."

He held her gaze as if attempting to impart some deep and meaningful message. Sam was having none of it.

"Sir, you're telling me that if it were one of our teams, you'd leave them there?" She asked bitterly. The hell he would and they both knew it…

"Colonel, you know how much I hate this, but this is the way it's going to go down."

She glared at the top of his head, but he refused to lift it and meet her gaze, staring fixedly at the papers on his desk.

"So…that's it?"

"Carter, if you can come up with a way to minimise the risk and make it possible for our teams to go through before that time without significant threat to themselves, then I'm open t' hearin' it. Other than that…"

His voice faded out.

"Yes, sir."

She stood in front of his desk, refusing to move. She couldn't believe he was doing this! To her father. She wouldn't leave unless he forced her.

He sighed sadly. "You're dismissed."

Stiffening her posture, she stood at attention and saluted. "Yes, sir."

It came out as a snarl. Shooting him a furious glance, she spun on her heel and stalked out of the room.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**AN: Part three will be later today or tomorrow. Some review responses below...**

**Matt1969 -** In answer to your question, yes it is. :grins as Matt runs off to look:

**Quinndolynn -** Thank you! The prologue is one of my favourite scenes of the entire fic. Hope you enjoyed Aftermath too.

**Shetlandlace -** :hugs: I'm glad you think so! I've had so much trouble writing Sam in the past season or so, it's untrue. But that's a rant for a different time. Were you able to spot where CeCe and I swapped authoring duties in this chapter, or was it a smooth transition?

**froggy0319 -** Yep, that would be my idea of a nightmare as well! Especially if I was expecting Jack! ;)


	5. Chapter Three

**AN: Thanks for all the reviews, folks! There's just one thing I'd like to say and that's remember i****t's an AU... And I happen to like Jacob. So read on, folks...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Three**

Sam slammed into her lab, her mind in turmoil. Her father was out there. Injured. In pain. Maybe even…she faltered, before forcing herself to complete the thought…maybe even dead. And they were doing nothing. Nothing!

The General's word rang in her head.

"_Carter…I know you know this, but technically speaking, Jacob is a Tok'ra."_

_I cannot, I will not, risk the lives of this command without taking all available precautions."_

"_Colonel, you know how much I hate this, but this is the way it's going to go down."_

For the first time since she had met him, since stepping into the briefing room and saluting so long ago, she hated him. Truly hated him. It rose up inside her like a living thing, singing in her veins and making her ears ring. She clenched her fists to avoid taking it out on the delicate equipment in front of her and without knowing how or even what she was doing, she gathered the hate together and flung it outwards.

The vision entered her mind of the General sat behind his desk, his head in his hands. It was as if she'd never left his office. She saw him flinch as if struck. Hard on it's heels came a strong feeling of shock, fear and hurt, followed rapidly by an intense mix of shame and self-loathing which swamped her, leaving her pale and shaken from the sudden rush of emotions.

She staggered to her chair and collapsed into it, trembling in the aftermath. What the hell? She breathed deeply and attempted to analyse what had just happened. She had no explanation for it and that scared her. It had been stronger than any of the previous occurrences. Different. She didn't understand. What was the significance in showing her the General at his desk? And why did the sight make her feel so…despicable?

She gave a short laugh. To anyone passing by it would have contained an edge of hysteria. God, maybe she was losing her mind! The thought ran round and around in her head until a nagging suspicion she'd been resolutely ignoring, welled up and finally insisted on making itself heard. What if…they weren't her emotions?

"_I believe you have retained a fragment of O'Neill's consciousness."_

Teal'c's words from several months ago echoed in her head. No! The denial was automatic. The Colonel – the General, dammit – was gone. She was alone in her head. Her thoughts were her own, they had to be…the thought of anything else terrified her. There could be no connection between them. It wasn't right…hell, it wasn't allowed.

Yet the notion persisted. If she checked the security tapes for the past few minutes, would it show the same scene she had just witnessed inside her head? She shook the thought away. Impossible. Well…maybe not, given some of the weirdness which happened at the SGC, but still highly unlikely.

It was fanciful thinking on her part, nothing more. No doubt a result of the recent stress in her personal life, a monumental lack of sleep and now this on top of everything else…combined with the desire to know the Col – the General's - mind without him having to speak it. She snorted at her own pathetic-ness. Feeling the General's emotions indeed! What would she think of next?

Not that she'd even want him sharing her most recent thoughts…they weren't the most complimentary. Embarrassment doused the remaining flicker of rage and replaced it with shame.

She should never have thought such things about the General. He didn't deserve them. Able to look at his decision more calmly now, she knew his reasoning was sound.

His decisions affected the lives of all the men and women on the base. As much as it pained her to admit it, there was more at stake here than the life of her father. Hell, he would be the first one to tell her so!

The General had to ensure the decisions he made were the correct ones for the SGC, even if that meant they were made at the expense of her father. She'd allowed her emotions to interfere with her judgement and taken it out on the man she admired more than any other.

Remorse filled her, tinged with guilt. It bubbled over, spilling outwards like before. The need to pick up the phone and apologise nearly too strong to deny, even though he would have no clue as to why she was apologising.

To her shock, acknowledgement and understanding flowed through her, overlaid with an impression of affection. It felt…distinctly Jack O'Neill. As if he had pulled her into one of his sorely missed arm-around-the-shoulders hugs to show her it was okay. A half-sob escaped as she shuddered in reaction. Oh god, she was losing it!

Full-blown waking dreams. They'd be dragging her down to MacKenzie before she knew it…oh, good grief! She gave herself a mental slap. Get a grip, Sam-an-tha. Stop feeling so freaking sorry for yourself!

It was all in her head. That's all. A couple of nights of good non-dream-interrupted sleep and she'd be fine. It wasn't like this was the first time she'd had a vivid hallucination. Hell, her whole attempt at moving on was a result of one…she snorted in self-derision. Yeah, and look how good she'd proved to be at doing that!

Straightening her shoulders, she took stock of her lab. Guilt flowed over her again as the reason she was there came to the fore once more. Her father was injured. Possibly dead. God, how could she have forgotten? Even for a moment?

The General's earlier words echoed faintly at the back of her head.

"…_all available precautions…"_

She sat up in her seat as the vague beginnings of an idea came to her, pushing all other thoughts out of her head.

"_Carter, if you can come up with a way to minimise the risk and make it possible for our teams to go through without significant threat to themselves before that time, then I'm open to hearing it…"_

That was it!

_**o0o**_

Sam Carter blazed back through the SGC control room like a not-so-miniature tornado and took the stairs to the briefing room two at a time, earning her startled looks from the technicians busily minding their own business at their screens. Or playing solitaire, depending on whom you believed.

Hurrying through the empty room, she knocked sharply on the closed door to the General's office, nearly hopping with impatience as she waited for permission to enter.

Her CO's "come in, Carter," had barely finished leaving his mouth before she was diving into the room.

"I've got it!"

He sat back in his chair, placing down his pen with a smirk. "Is it catching?"

Not in the mood for smart-ass remarks after the frantic half-hour she'd spent making this thing work, Sam glared at him and dumped the item she was carrying on his desk.

Jack blinked. He looked down at the object sat on top of the abhorred paperwork. Then he looked back up at the person who put it there.

"You brought me a paperweight?"

She gritted her teeth, restraining the desire to stuff said object down his throat.

"It's a Goa'uld concussion grenade, sir."

He picked up his pen again and tapped it lightly against the impressive mound of paper strewn over his desktop.

"Hmm," he murmured.

Sam shifted impatiently from one foot to the other, waiting for him to ask the obvious question.

He didn't.

Instead, he flicked his gaze up to quickly meet her eyes, before cocking his head on one sight and studying the grenade carefully again for a few seconds, as if he'd never seen one before. Sam bit her lip, determined to outwait him and not rise to his baiting.

Eventually he looked back up at her, his eyes twinkling and a smirk playing on his lips.

"What's it doing on my desk?"

Counting silently to ten because really, throttling her CO wasn't particularly good for her promotion prospects, she comforted herself with sudden mental image of flipping it's switch and making the room disappear in a flash of bright light.

She grinned, which seemed to come across as evil judging by the way the General's eyes widened slightly and he squirmed uneasily in his chair. Unless of course he'd been able to see her little mental image. Which actually wouldn't surprise her after the day's earlier freakiness. But she wasn't going to think about that anymore and besides, she had other things to stress over right now.

"I've modified it to take out the Super Soldiers, sir."

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses Below:**

**GateSeeker2 - Thanky you! I liked that line too... If you hop on over to my profile there's a story there called 'Aftermath' which should explain everything nicely for you. As for why Pete's still around, well she didn't say no exactly, just 'not yet', so he's hoping she'll change her mind.Regarding Kerry, probably. Just not in the way you're thinking and not until much later. It'll all become clear at some point. Honest :D**

**froggy0319 - Don't worry they'll get their chance, eventually.I just can't make it easy for them though, cos that'd be no fun!**

**Quinndolynn - Thank you! Enjoy Aftermath...**

**SGAngel - That quick enough for you? ;)**

**PhDelicious - I'm continuing, I'm continuing! And I hope this answers the question of how Sam's handling things at work, for you.**

**Phew! I think that's everyone! Once again, thanks for all the reviews, it's fantastic to see that people are enjoying this. There's more - much more - to come...**


	6. Chapter Four

**Thanks for all the reviews everyone, I think this is nowmy most reviewed fic ever. Which is cool :D FYI, for those still confused about the 'Jack in Sam's head thing', check out 'Aftermath' on my profile page. That will explain it all for you.**

**So without further ado, I present Part Four for your reading pleasure...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Four**

The pen stilled in it's tapping and he was quiet for a long moment.

"Wow," he murmured. "Just like that, huh?"

This time she didn't even bother restraining the desire to roll her eyes.

"No, sir. It's something I've been working on for the past six months."

An eyebrow raised and a set of dark brown eyes narrowed. "And you finally got it working…today?"

His tone pulled her instinctively to attention, focusing her eyes on the pictures hanging on the wall behind his desk as she answered.

"Yessir."

She heard the unspoken implication. That this was a desperate attempt to persuade him to send a team after her father. Which, she freely admitted, it was. But it would work. She knew it, to her very soul. It was amazing what the fear of losing a man you loved could inspire. But she refused to think about parallels.

He gave a heavy sigh, before leaning forward and tapping the grenade lightly with his pen. "I'm probably gonna regret asking this, but…how's this thing work?"

She paused to gather her thoughts before replying, firmly quashing the desire to blind him with science in revenge. She needed him on her side if she was going to save her father.

"It…utilises the same energy as the P90 attachments, sir. The main difference is that where the P90 can only fire a single burst with enough energy to take out one Super Soldier at a time, a single burst of energy from this should effectively down any Super Soldier caught within it's range."

He frowned, as if attempting to get his head around the concept.

"So…" He began slowly, "it…kills any super-soldier within it's blast radius…right?"

She hesitated. He knew her too well not to notice. Unfortunately.

"Carter?"

"The P90 attachments work by firing a concentrated burst of energy which overwhelms a Super Soldier, sir. The grenade uses a higher energy burst than the P90, however…it has to spread the energy out over a wider area, so it's not as concentrated."

He gave her a blank look. "Which means?"

"Which means…" She faltered, trying to think of a way to explain it. _'Think in terms of weaponry, Sam. Compare it to something he can recognise.'_

"It's like the difference between a bullet and a fragmentation grenade, sir."

If aimed correctly, a bullet would kill. As would a frag grenade if someone was stood close enough. If they were stood farther away, however…

Jack nodded. "So if they're on the edge of the blast then…what?"

Sam swallowed. "The energy will have dissipated somewhat by the time it reaches them. It probably won't kill them, but they should be incapacitated enough to be brought down by normal weapons fire, sir."

Another long pause. The pen was back to tapping absently on the paperwork.

"Carter…" He paused, before continuing carefully, "have you given any thought to what kind of effect this could have on your father?"

She froze, her mind going blank with terror for a moment. Oh, god! She hadn't even considered that! What if…? But no, she couldn't afford to think like that, they had to take the risk to get him back.

"The weapon is designed to combat Super Soldiers, sir. It…should have no effect."

Even if it did, she couldn't not do this. It might be his only chance.

Jack scrubbed a hand over his face and through his hair before replying.

"I heard an awful lot of _'should's'_ and _'probably's' _in there, Carter."

Sam gulped. "Yessir. Without testing it I can't say for certain, but I know for a fact that the theory behind it is sound. It should work, sir. I see no reason for it not to work."

Jack grimaced. "And of course the only way to test it in action is to use it against a Super Soldier."

A flicker of a smile tugged her lips with his wry tone. "Sorry, sir."

"No Darth Vader wannabe tucked away in your lab, you can test it on?"

The flicker broke into a fully-fledged grin. "Afraid not, sir."

A mock-weary sigh. "Ah well…"

Keen eyes bore into her, demanding the truth. "You're confident this will work."

Phrased as a statement, she knew it was still a question and answered accordingly.

_**o0o**_

Straightening her shoulders and meeting his gaze squarely, she allowed no doubt to creep through. No hesitation this time.

"Yes, sir. I am."

She had to believe it would work. It had to.

He nodded briskly at her reassurance and she recognised the familiar gesture of him making his decision as he stood.

"Good enough for me."

Jack strode over to the door, poked his head out and yelled down into the control room.

"Walter! Tell Siler I want a MALP ready on the ramp in ten minutes! I want SG's five and twelve in the Gate Room and ready to go ASAP. Have Major Cormack and Colonel Kenneally report to my office once they're geared up."

Relief ran through her. He believed her! The voice of her conscience raised it's head briefly, _'did you really think he wouldn't?' _She pushed the thought away. It didn't matter. They were going to rescue her father!

The General was still issuing instructions and she smirked as the rich tones of his voice continued to fill the room. The poor Sergeant was probably alternating between cursing General Hammond for leaving and praying desperately for his return.

"Oh, and get onto the Infirmary. I want a med team ready to make a house call if necessary and tell them to prepare for casualties."

The smirk faded. Did he doubt her, after all?

He cast her a quick glance. "Just in case."

She nodded her understanding. He was merely taking precautions.

"We'll send the MALP as soon as five and twelve are geared up and I've briefed Dan and Pat. We'll use it to get a line on Jacob and the Super Soldiers, toss this Super Grenade of yours through and go from there."

She grimaced faintly, knowing that her latest technological development had just had it's name coined. From now on, her invention would forever be known as a _'Super Grenade'_. Ah well, it could be worse. She knew that from previous experience.

His hand squeezed her shoulder lightly and she savoured the feeling of comfort and confidence the unexpected act spread throughout her.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome."

His hand fell away but the feeling remained. Drawing on the resolve he'd managed to inspire with a simple gesture, she met his eyes, determined to plead the case for her next request.

"Sir, I…" she faltered, unsure of how to ask permission for what she now desperately needed to do.

His eyes narrowed. "You want to go through, don't you?"

"Yes, sir." She rushed on, attempting to lay out her reasoning before he could turn her down.

"If my father's badly injured, he's likely to be disorientated. I believe it would be helpful to the rescue mission if there was someone on the team that he knew and recognised. Plus I've had more experience fighting these Super Soldiers than practically anyone."

Jack nodded thoughtfully.

Desperate to convince him, she continued. Knowing she was babbling but needing, willing, begging him to understand. This was her father! She had to go! To be there, in case…

"Sir, I just…I can't explain it…but I just…"

"Go round up Daniel and T and get geared up."

"Sir, I need to go…I…what?"

She tailed off as her mind caught up with the words he'd spoken. His mouth quirked into a half-grin at having surprised her, as he wandered past her back to his chair.

"I said go round up Daniel and T. You'll go through with SG's five and twelve."

"I…" Caught off-guard by the understanding in his tone she shook her head, looking down at the floor before raising her eyes again.

"Thank you, sir."

He paused in front of his chair, meeting her gaze squarely.

"Just make sure you all come back in one piece. Then you can thank me."

His voice was serious, eyes dark and intense. A feeling of frustration and abandonment swept through her mind and she shivered in reaction to the seldom-seen emotion. For the first time since he'd received his promotion, she realised precisely how difficult it was for him to remain behind whilst they went through the gate without him.

"We will." She vowed, her words backed by fierce determination.

He nodded briskly, the rare show of emotion gone from his expression as if it never existed.

"See that'cha do."

She turned to leave as he made to sit down in his chair, flapping a hand at her in a vague gesture of dismissal.

"Oh, and Carter…"

His voice called her back and she turned, hands raising instinctively in reaction to catch the grenade he nonchalantly tossed towards her.

"Think you'll be needin' this."

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses Below:**

**froggy0319 - How do people know that clams are happy:is curious: For all we know they could just be pretending because they don't want to upset anybody... Hope you're still excited about the fic.**

**debcole - No problem! I'm just glad you're enjoying reading it. FYI, I'll be doing a website update either today or tomorrow, sothere'll bea couple of new bits on thereshortly... And then it's going to have to slow down because I'monly up toPartFifteen so far, lol!**

**susan B - Gah:swears furiously at self: I'm usually pretty good at avoiding doing things like that. It's fixed now, which doesn't help you of course, but itshould prevent anyone else suffering the same fate.Thanks for pointing it out. And sorry about that :(**

**Goddess Anjanee - Thank you. Here's what happens next... Nope, can't tell you! You'll just have to wait and see ;)**

**shetlandlace - Don't worry about it. I barely have time to post this fic, let alone sendfeedback so I'm really bad at it :feels guilty: Hope you enjoyed the next chapter**

**Bite Beccy - Continuing... :D**

**GateSeeker2 - Probably. :evil grin: And I'm sure you could adapt them to work on teenagers...**


	7. Chapter Five

**AN: Here's Part Five as well, because not a lot happens in Part Four. And I'm feeling generous :grins:**

_**o0o**_

**Part Five**

Hunched over his desk, Daniel was attempting to translate the stone tablet which lay in front of him. It contained writing similar to that found in the ruins where Maybourne and the then _'Colonel' _O'Neill had used the Transport Window to visit the orbiting moon.

"Furling…" He furrowed his brow in concentration. "Huh, wonder where you guys went?"

"Talking to yourself again, Daniel? That's dangerous in our line of work." Sam said with a snort as she walked his lab.

Normally his quirky habits would raise a smile, but not today. There wasn't time to hang around and chat.

"Yes, well, what isn't?"

He noticed her harried appearance and immediately straightened. Becoming alert like a well-trained soldier noticing trouble, though she doubted he even realised.

Odds were he would be highly offended if she even suggested such, but it was there nonetheless. Over the course of the past eight years, whether he liked it or not, Daniel Jackson had become a soldier. A well-educated and articulate soldier granted, but a soldier all the same.

He frowned. "What's up?"

Sam grimaced briefly before answering. "Too much to say."

She forced herself to remain completely professional, and not let her emotions get the better of her. Times like this when life did it's best to overwhelm her, she was grateful for the decisions she'd made in her life. Choices which led to military training and the ability push it all away and function when needed, despite the onslaught of emotion which threatened drag her under.

"SG-1 is gating out now. I need you to go get Teal'c and get kitted up." She turned and walked out the door.

Looking confused, Daniel called after her. "Hey! Where are we going?"

"Details later!" She barked out over her shoulder as she continued down the corridor towards the lift.

She knew she was being short with him but couldn't help it. She couldn't afford to waste what little time she had, playing _'Twenty Questions with Daniel Jackson'_. The small twinge of guilt she felt was washed away under the ever pressing fear for her father. She knew once Daniel realised what was going on, he would instantly forgive her current attitude.

It was simply the kind of person he was, but she still felt like she was taking advantage of his good nature. Using his refusal to take offence, as an excuse to take her frustrations out on him. Shrugging the thoughts away, she promised herself she'd apologise later. If – when – her father was okay.

She detoured to her lab to collect a second retrofitted grenade and then made her way to the gear-up room.

_**o0o**_

Daniel and Teal'c were already there when she arrived. Absorbed in the zipping, buckling, clipping and lacing which were part and parcel of preparing for modern-day combat.

She opened her locker, stripping off her over-shirt and hanging it up, then pulling on a field jacket over the top of her tee shirt. A vest went on top of that for protection.

"So Sam…what's going on?"

She knew she wouldn't be able to avoid telling them for long. She swallowed hard to keep everything locked down and under control before replying.

"SG-6 came in hot under fire from Super Soldiers little under an hour ago. They reported seeing my father near the gate."

"And they didn't bring him back with them!" Daniel's voice rang with indignant, furious, disbelief.

Sam shook her head. "They didn't have chance, Daniel. Miller was hit and badly in need of medical attention. They couldn't risk getting cut off from the gate in order to retrieve him."

Keeping her head down, unable to cope with the sympathetic glances she knew she would be party to if she looked up, she concentrated on fastening the utility belt round her waist. The familiar automatic actions eased her mind, preventing her from thinking too much as she carried out the job at hand. Clip, fasten, adjust, tighten.

Once in place, the holster straps went round her legs. Her own personal handgun, a well-worn and well-used gift from her father many years ago, went into one, a zat would go in the other after their trip to the armoury. Normally she took standard issue, having been captured and stripped of her weapons too many times to count since joining the SGC, but this was personal. Super Soldiers didn't capture, they killed. And she was fully intending to give them death in return. In spades.

Bucket-loads, even.

Her knife was clipped to the back of her belt. A replacement for the one she had received from her fellow cadets at the Academy, on her graduation. The one she'd lost on only her second mission through the gate. The one she had bitterly lamented losing, after slightly too much drink on one of their early team nights. Only to be surprised with a replacement, as a present from the Colonel on her birthday.

It had never occurred to her that he might remember such an innocuous thing. But not only had he remembered, he had turned it into a tradition. One which had been kept up over the years as she regularly had them taken from her. It was never mentioned by either of them, but then it wasn't something either of them needed to mention. The inscription on the blade, the same each time. Simple, to the point and eminently Jack O'Neill.

'_Carter, try to hang on to this one!'_

They had no need to try and turn it into more than it was, because they both understood. Each time she had it taken from her, he would give it back. Now she wondered if either of them had really understood it at all.

Impatiently, she pushed the thoughts away. She couldn't be thinking about the General and their always screwed up situation, she had a mission to carry out. She forced herself to listen to Daniel's words.

"So this is a rescue mission?"

"Yes," she answered curtly. "We go through with SG's five and twelve as soon as we're geared up."

Her tone left no room for argument. Not that either of them would have argued with her. Not over this. They would merely point out the possible complications and help her overcome them. She was the leader of SG-1 now and they would follow her. Wherever she led. Their steadfast support was a constant source of inspiration. Allowing her to attempt things she'd never dreamed she would do. Daring her to try for the stars and giving her the confidence to reach them.

"Will not the Super Soldiers be lying in wait for whoever comes through the gate?"

That was Teal'c. Practical as always.

"Probably." She admitted.

"Um…should I be worried?"

Daniel. His nervousness in this kind of situation showing through. Despite all his training and experience, this wasn't his area of expertise and he was wise enough to know it. But she needed him there, to give her someone at her side on whom she could rely, to allow her to do whatever required to be done without distraction.

She needed both of her team, actually she needed all three, but that wasn't the way things worked these days. So she'd make do with Daniel and Teal'c. She could trust them with her life, to watch her back while she concentrated on her father. It wasn't ideal, even after several months it still didn't feel right going through the gate without him at her side, but it was enough. It had to be enough.

The dangerous smile of earlier crossed her face once more.

"No. That's why we have these." She hefted one of the grenades she'd brought with her.

Daniel frowned and even Teal'c looked puzzled. "Goa'uld concussion grenades?"

She held back a smirk. "Modified concussion grenades. I managed to redesign them to emit a wave of the energy which disables the Super Soldiers."

Daniel's eyes widened. "Wow. That was…lucky."

"Indeed."

She met their eyes squarely, refusing to be drawn. "It'll work, guys."

Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose and shrugged slightly, as if that were a foregone conclusion.

"Well, yeah…obviously. Of course it will."

Teal'c inclined his head. "I have every confidence in your abilities, Colonel Carter."

Their steady faith renewed her confidence. They could do this. It was going to work.

These men were the best support group a woman could have, her rocks in an insane world. She didn't know what she'd done to deserve their friendship, but suddenly she was awfully glad to have it. She looked down, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat.

"Thanks, guys."

A large hand came into her field of vision and squeezed her shoulder gently.

"We will return with your father, Colonel Carter. Of this I am certain."

A smaller hand rubbed her other arm gently. "Yeah, we'll get him back, Sam. I know we will."

Drawing in a deep breath, she raised her head and gave them a watery smile.

"Let's go do this then."

Stepping back, they followed her lead as she walked to the armoury. Spine straight, shoulders back, her every step exuded confidence and determination. There was no sign of the terror hidden away inside her, it's plaintive cry on constant repeat.

What if they were already too late?

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_


	8. Chapter Six

**AN: Sorry for not updating over the weekend, guys. The way my life works, I'm actually busier the weekends than I am when I'm work. Go figure! To make up for it, here's the next three chapters. I hope they live up to all of my faithful reviewers expections! On a related note, I'd also like to say thanks for all the kind comments about 'Aftermath' from those who have read it after getting involved in this story. Now on with the show...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Six**

Geared up and armed to the teeth, they made their way to the control room. Looking down into the gate room, Sam saw it was a hive of activity. SG's five and twelve were standing around, ready and waiting, pre-battle tension evident in their stance. Sam's eyes widened as she saw what was positioned at the base of the ramp.

A UAV?

Her attention was drawn away as Jack nodded a greeting to them from where he stood next to the gate technician's station, one arm across the back of the seat. The gate was already dialling up, Walter calmly counting out the chevrons.

"Carter, Daniel, T."

"General."

"Jack."

"O'Neill."

He flashed them a quick smile. "That's my name, kids. Don't wear it out."

She smiled slightly, looking away as his terrible joke eased the nervous tension in the room. A tendril of warmth spread through her, chasing away the cold. He had the ability to make her smile even in the worst of situations. Somehow making them better, no matter how bad she was feeling.

"Funny, Jack. Really." Daniel replied wryly.

Jack shrugged, ignoring the sarcasm. "I thought so."

Daniel coughed. "So…we going through, or not?"

Jack shot him a dark look. "In a few. Hoping to get some intel from the MALP SG-6 had to leave behind, first. I'm not sendin' anyone in cold. Not without knowing what you'd be walking into."

"You think it'll still be working?"

Jack turned back to look at display screen. "Guess we'll know in a minute."

"Chevron seven locked!" Walter announced and the gate activated in a wash of colour, driving away all thoughts of joking. Funny or not.

Jack immediately leant forward, intent on the screen in front of him.

"Anything yet?" He asked impatiently.

Sam could have sworn she saw Walter roll his eyes before replying.

"Receiving MALP telemetry now, sir."

The screen flickered and a picture appeared. It showed empty ground, followed by - two, no, three - Super Soldiers standing a few metres back from the DHD. Their attention was focused on the open wormhole, arms out-stretched with weapons at the ready.

Dammit.

There was a collective in-sucking of breath. Everyone had known what to expect, knew that since it was an out-going wormhole nothing but radio waves could come back through, but it didn't make the sight any easier.

Or any less terrifying.

Sam was forced to admit that without the grenades to take them out, there was no way any team was getting through that gate any time soon. Not without being massacred the moment they set foot on the planet.

Suddenly Jack stiffened, his rigid posture gaining her complete attention.

"Pan left a bit."

Walter panned the MALP camera left. Jack tapped the screen, pointing at the tree-line.

"There."

They all crowded round to take a closer look. Movement showed another Super Soldier hidden among the trees. Jack let out a low whistle.

"Damn." He shot her a quick look. "You're sure these grenades of yours are gonna work, Carter?"

She swallowed hard. God, she hoped so! Whoever went through the gate was just so much dead meat if they didn't and they all knew it. Hence the General's reluctance to send them in. She hastened to reassure him.

"Yessir. These three – " She pointed at the three guarding the gate behind the DHD, " – are well within range."

"This one – " Her finger moved to the figure lurking in the underbrush, " – is on the limits of what I've worked out to be the maximum-capacity area of the grenade's blast, but he should still be affected to some degree."

"So, still on his feet if a little shaky, rather than down for the count?"

"Yessir."

Jack sighed. "Well, one's better odds than four, I guess. Alri – "

"Jack!" Daniel cut him off.

At some point he'd come to stand at the left side of Walter's chair and was peering studiously at the portion of the screen directly in front of his position. Jack turned to glare at him for interrupting.

"Daniel?"

In response, Daniel merely pointed silently to the bottom-left corner of the MALP's picture where a booted foot was just in view. Sam felt suddenly nauseous and light-headed.

"Walter – " Jack began.

The Sergeant was already panning the camera further left.

" – Never mind."

A rumpled, curled-up figure came slowly into view, lying limply on the ground like nothing more than a discarded bundle of rags. The Tok'Ra clothing unmistakable even from this distance. As were the myriad of burns and tears in the cloth. Jack glanced away from the screen.

Sam bit her lip to hold back a sob at the sight. Oh, god. Dad!

"Hobbs?"

Captain Hobbs SG-6's 2IC, who up until now, had been stood quietly out of the way at the back of the room, stepped forward to take a look and nodded.

"That's where he was when we were forced to retreat, sir."

She saw Daniel wince out of the corner of her eye and closed her eyes in resignation. He hadn't moved in the last hour. That wasn't a good sign. A distinctly Jack O'Neill-sounding thought flashed across her brain, bizarrely restoring her hope.

'_Mebbe he's jus' playin' dead, Carter. , I know I would be with that many Star Wars costume-party entrants hangin' around.'_

Her eyes snapped open and flew to meet his gaze. He raised a questioning eyebrow and she mustered a weak smile in response. Upon seeing her feeble attempt at some form of optimism, Hobbs send an apologetic look in her direction.

"Sorry, ma'am."

She turned her half-hearted smile to Hobbs, trying to show him she didn't blame them for leaving her father behind. It wasn't their fault. However much she wished it was, so that she could at least have someone to blame for what had happened.

"It's okay, Captain. How's Miller?"

Hobbs looked stricken. "Took a hit to his lower spine, ma'am. He's going to live but they don't know whether he'll ever walk again."

She drew in a sharp breath. It was a sharp reminder that she wasn't the only person hurting here.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Thank you, ma'am."

Jack rubbed a hand over his face and exhaled heavily, regaining her attention.

"Okay. See if you can zoom in any – "

There was a sudden flare of light on the screen and the picture dissolved into static. Signal lost, the wormhole shut down.

"They took out the MALP, sir."

_**o0o**_

Everyone stood dumbly watching the static-filled screen. It had all happened so quickly.

"Dammit!" Jack growled in frustration, breaking the shocked silence.

Daniel straightened, looking questioningly at Jack. "Now what?"

Jack tapped the back of the Sergeant's chair decisively. "Dial it up again, Sergeant."

"Yessir." Walter reached forward and began tapping in the sequence.

Jack turned away, giving the rest of SG-1 a grim look before jerking his head towards the room below.

"Gate Room." He said shortly, walking forwards to lead the way.

He stopped abruptly next to Sam and held out his hand, gesturing at the grenades she was now gripping so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. Her attention was still focused on the now-blank screen.

"Pass me one of those."

She didn't respond.

"Carter!"

She jumped as if startled, then turned her face towards him, seemingly on auto-pilot.

"Sir?"

The look of dazed agony in her eyes made him soften the tone of his next words. He pointed at the devices in her hands once more.

"Gimme one 'a those, will ya?"

Her gaze drifted down to follow his finger where it pointed to the grenades clutched so tightly in her hands. For a moment he thought she was going to refuse, but then she blinked and held out her hand.

Gingerly, he reached out and took the smooth round object, fingers brushing over hers for a brief moment as he took it from her grasp.

"Thanks," he murmured.

Holding her gaze he repeated his earlier order, just to ensure she understood.

"Gate Room."

She nodded and he could almost see her pull herself together, as her eyes cleared and her posture relaxed.

"Yessir."

Jack nodded crisply in acknowledgement, before turning on his heel and jogging out of the control room, followed closely by a silent Teal'c.

Daniel looked askance at Sam and she shook her head. He still didn't understand that sometimes, a short sharp shock was precisely what she needed to get back on track. To help her regain her focus. The General did. Being able to anticipate the needs of the people under his command was one of the reasons he'd reached his rank.

"Gate Room, Daniel." She repeated quietly walking past him.

Daniel opened his mouth as if to comment, then obviously thought better of it. He closed his mouth with a sigh and quietly followed his friends and team-mates into whatever mayhem was fast heading their way.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses:**

**SGAngel, Sci-Fi Gillian, stargate-fan & spacemonkeylover - Thank you! Glad to see you're still enjoying it.**

**froggy0319 - Yeah, Jack's more than a little frustrated having to stay behind! Plus, Teal'c can only look out for Sam and Daniel if he's around when trouble comes a-calling...**

**SGAngel - _Jacob_ (note the emphasis ;) ) is going to be fine. Insert evil laugh here...**

**Quinndolynn - Thank you.I really try hard to get Sam sounding like Sam. Jack, on the other hand is a much easier person to write! I still can't believe I've managed to write seven chapters solely from Sam's POV! I've normally switched to writing Jack POV long before... As for the 'Sam-am-tha thing', I guess I always figured if she doesn't really like her full name, then odds are she'd use it as a way to mock herselfin her own head. The knifebit is an example one of the things I love about fanfiction. The fact thatyou can make up your own little traditions or back stories for the stuff that's never seen on screen. I love that!**


	9. Chapter Seven

_**o0o**_

**Part Seven**

The heavy concrete door gave a click-buzz as it's locking mechanism released and it rumbled open to grudgingly permit them access. Jack was through and striding into the room as soon as the door pulled back far enough to admit him.

"Siler!"

He waved his hand to flag the man's attention over the thunderous grinding of the gate dialling up.

"That UAV ready to fly?"

"Yessir!"

"Good!"

He turned to watch the gate as the final few chevrons clanked ponderously into position. The tension in the room crawled across his skin like a living thing, raising the fine hairs on his skin in passing. He shivered. The gate always had this effect on him.

Carter said it had something to do with the amount of excess power being generated.

Like the zap you got from touching metal after walking on nylon carpets. It was _'a form of static electricity created by the interface used to power the gate'_. Apparently. She said if they had a DHD, it would compensate so that it didn't happen and Sam Carter would be the one to know, if anyone did.

All he knew was it made him feel uneasy. And itchy.

In an effort to ignore it, he casually tossed the grenade back and forth between his hands. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left. He caught it solidly in his right again as he sensed movement at his side. He held it up to Sam, idly tracing the lines etched into its surface, as she came to stand beside him.

"What's the time delay on these, Carter?"

"Ah, seven seconds, sir. Give or take."

"Right…" He muttered absently, running through some last minute adjustments to the plan of attack in his head.

Looking up, he paused as the gate engaged with a tremendous roar. The swirling plume of boiling plasma shooting out a good twenty feet into the room and bathing everything in it's eerie, iridescent light, before snapping back to form the familiar shimmering surface of the wormhole.

He let out a quiet sigh as the sense of awe which always filled him at the majestic sight, flowed over him once more. That never got old. No matter how often he saw it. Never let it be said that Jack O'Neill couldn't appreciate a thing of beauty.

This ranked right up there in his top five. Along with the Minnesotan sunset, as it cascaded in waves of red and orange over his lake and a Colorado winter's morning, as cold sunlight glinted off branches gilded white by frost and snow.

The feeling was closely followed by one of loss and envy, as he remembered it was no longer his place to experience the heady adrenaline rush of stepping through the gate, on his way to some distant alien planet. God, he missed it.

A faint echo of awe and wonderment brushed the edges of his mind, followed briefly by an equal sense of loss, understanding and sympathy. It flowed quickly across his thoughts, washing over them like water before trickling away.

He blinked in startlement. What the…? Okay, that was weird. And also kinda freaky, 'cos it wasn't the first time it had happened lately and it was really starting to creep him out. Eh, he'd worry about it later. When he didn't have armies of Super Soldiers to worry about.

'_So, that'll be never, then, sir?'_

The thought had a very Carter-ish sound to it and he couldn't help sneaking a glance at her, only to find her already staring back. He sucked in a breath as he experienced an instant of perfect clarity. As if she knew his thoughts and he could read hers right back at her.

Then it was gone.

_**o0o**_

Jack shook his head forcibly to clear it, pushing the confusion away to be deal with at a more appropriate time. Stepping forward, he cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention. The low hum of conversation throughout the room died away.

"Alright, listen up! You all know why we're here, so I'll make this brief. In a moment Colonel Carter and I will be droppin' these grenades through the gate. They're designed to take out the Super Soldiers on the other side.

"Once they're through, we're gonna send in the UAV. It'll go into auto-pilot mode and fall into a standard recon pattern, so the radio signal doesn't keep the gate open. SG-12, you'll go through next, followed by SG's five and one. If there are still any Super Soldiers on their feet after the grenades have gone through, the UAV should provide enough of a distraction for you to get through and take 'em out."

He shifted his gaze to look at the SGC's premier Search and Rescue team.

"SG-12, this will be your job. Neutralise the remaining enemy and secure a perimeter. There will be three Super Soldiers behind the DHD, but they oughta be down for the count. Hit 'em once just to make sure, but your main concern is gonna be the live 'n' kicking Super Soldier in the tree line, 'bout fifty yards left of your position as you come through the gate."

The members of SG-12 listened intently, nodding occasionally as their orders were given out. Jack's gaze shifted again to fall on the second team of Marines at the SGC.

"SG-5, secure the gate. Once SG-1 are through, dial it straight back up and keep it open. We'll be re-establishing contact with UAV as soon as it's connected, so that we can monitor proceedings. The UAV's radio signal will stop the gate closing, but don't take any chances, you all know how flaky the darn things can be."

There were a few chuckles and knowing murmurs from the team at his words and Jack paused.

"No offence there, Siler."

He was certain the man gave a heavy sigh before answering. "None taken, sir."

Jack turned his attention finally to the team he still considered his own.

"SG-1, your priority is Jacob. Go through, grab him, bring him back. We'll have a med team standing by."

He looked pointedly at Daniel. "No detours, no wandering off to look at the scenery."

Daniel rolled his eyes, before nodding to show he understood. Jack raised his voice to include all of the teams stood in the gate room once more.

"This a hot zone, people! We've no idea what else might be out there and quite frankly I don't wanna find out. Your mission is to get Jacob and come home. No heroics. Got it?"

An affirmative chorus of "sir, yes, sir!" was bellowed back at him and Jack grinned, raking his eyes over the men and women gathered in front of him. They had good people here. The best. No-one ever shirked from doing their duty. Made a guy feel honoured to be leading them. And nervous as hell in case he screwed up.

A surge of pride went through him that left him puzzled. It didn't belong to him. He was proud of them. This was pride…in him. Freaky. For some reason he couldn't put a name to, he looked at Carter, who flushed faintly as his gaze landed on her. The hell? Things were gettin' weirder by the second.

He pushed the thought away again and held up the grenade in his hand. "Ready, Colonel?"

She nodded and stepped forward, a step off his pace as he strode up the ramp.

Anyone could have tossed the grenade through the wormhole, but he wanted to be the one to do it. He couldn't explain why he needed to do it, he simply…did.

Jacob, a man he admired and respected, was in trouble. Badly injured. And his new position meant he couldn't go after him. He wanted to be on the team, leading the rescue mission. Watching their backs and kickin' ass.

Oh sure, he knew Carter would do a fine job, she always did, but that didn't change the fact that he wanted to be out there. Instead, he was stuck on base. Unable to help and reduced to biting his fingernails to the quick, waitin' for news. It sucked. Big time. At least by doing this, he felt he was contributing in some way.

He stopped at the top of the ramp and turned to face Sam who had come to a halt beside him. In step as always. He motioned to the grenades both of them held.

"Activate on my mark, wait a three count, then toss 'em through."

She nodded. "Yessir."

He took a deep breath. "On my mark…mark."

He pressed down firmly, activating the grenade. The red '_armed' _light blinked off and on in a random pattern on it's top.

"One, one thousand."

He shifted his grip, holding it now like a bowling ball. He could see Carter imitating his actions out of the corner of his eye.

"Two, one thousand."

He drew his arm back.

"Three, one thousand."

He flung his arm forward and let go. The grenade flew forwards and vanished into the wormhole with a faint slurping sound, echoed half a second later as Carter's grenade followed close behind.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_


	10. Chapter Eight

_**o0o**_

**Part Eight**

Jack smiled in vicious satisfaction. _'Yeah, take that you bastards! Hope it's sheer agony for ya, at least for the few seconds you've got left before ya kick it.'_

Too bad they'd only be able to watch the aftermath. He'd have gotten a certain amount of pleasure from watching those sick freaks of nature drop dead in their tracks. Teach 'em not to come after his people.

"Sir?"

Carter's voice pulled him back to the present, she sounded puzzled. He turned to face her, still grinning maniacally. She looked startled. Which was understandable since he probably looked like a crazy man.

"Revenge is sweet Carter," he offered in explanation. "It's a cliché, but…there it is."

Her brow crinkled as she frowned slightly. From out of nowhere, he received the distinct impression that she was surprised at his reaction. He blinked, his smile faltering. Ah, come on Carter! This is Jacob we're talkin' about here! Your Dad…

Did she really think he wouldn't want to exact vengeance on those who hurt him and his own? Surely she knew him well enough by now, to know that was precisely what he'd want?

She obviously came to the same conclusion, because her expression cleared almost as soon as he thought it and she flashed him a toothy smile of her own. Albeit a grim one.

"Yes sir. It is."

The glint in her eye matched the one in his and it seemed to Jack, like he could nearly feel her own answering satisfaction at the thought.

He stepped backwards until he could feel the guard rails alongside the gate at his back and gestured for her to do the same. He waited to make sure she was far enough back, before waving an airy signal at Siler.

"Siler! Launch the UAV!"

The Sergeant did…something. And the next thing Jack knew, the UAV had launched with a roar not quite so impressive as the gate's and zipped above their heads into the open wormhole.

Sweet!

Jack recovered from his instinctive ducking motion, even though rationally he knew it was a good couple of feet above the top of his head and spun back to look at Carter. The grin was back on his face.

"That – "

"Never gets old, sir?"

She cut into his comment, finishing it for him as if she knew what he was about to say. Which made sense. After all, she knew how he loved watching the UAV's launch. They were just so…cool.

"Damn straight."

She made to start walking back down the ramp and he gestured her back to her previous position.

"Might as well stay where you are. Gonna be goin' through in a minute anyway."

She nodded silently and he turned his attention down the ramp at the teams waiting to embark.

"SG teams twelve, five and one – " They came smartly to attention. "I'd wish you luck, but you ain't gonna need it. Move out."

"Alright! You heard the General! Let's go get 'em boys!"

Jack looked across to find Sam biting back a smile at Kenneally's gung-ho comment and held back a smirk of his own.

Yeah, it was tacky. But he wasn't going to slap the guy down. They were heading into hostile territory. They'd needed all the encouragement they could get.

Plus, in a way it was kinda nice to see. Eight months into the job and Kenneally was still in the phase where going through the gate was an exciting adventure. Stark reality bit all too soon for most people. It was kinda refreshing to find someone not yet cynical and jaded by it all. Even Daniel was world-weary these days.

SG-12 pounded up the ramp, SG-5 hard on their heels. Jack held up a hand once they'd gone through to stop Daniel and Teal'c immediately following them.

"Jack?" Daniel questioned.

Jack looked straight at Sam.

"You'll bring Dad home, Carter." He tried to instil his words with all the confidence and faith he had in them.

A faint smile touched her lips and she straightening her shoulders.

"Yes, sir. We will."

Running his gaze over his team, they were still his team even if technically, they weren't any longer, he met each of their eyes in turn. Imparting the message he was trying to get across.

"Stay low."

To Daniel, who tended to forget that danger came from more than one angle.

"Watch your back."

To Teal'c, who found it difficult to overcome decades of Jaffa training.

"Keep your head down."

To Sam, who concentrated on the defence of those around her, to the exclusion of herself.

"Make a moving target."

To all of them. "And above all – "

"Don't get shot!" They chanted along with him.

A smile flickered over his lips and he stepped back out of their way, wishing with all his heart that he was going with them.

"You got it. Move out, SG-1."

Sam gave him a crisp nod and stepped through. Teal'c inclined his head before following her. Daniel hesitated and looked back.

"See you in a few, Jack."

"I'll be waitin'."

Daniel entered the wormhole. Seconds later, it shut down with a loud snap. And they were gone.

Yeah, Jack concluded. It still hurt.

_**o0o**_

By the time SG-1 emerged from the wormhole, it was all over bar the shouting. Sam automatically scanned the area, on alert for possible danger. The air smelled of smoke, ozone and very faintly of burnt cloth.

SG-5 were gathered around the DHD, facing outwards and shooting the occasional cautious glance at the three downed Super Soldiers. They'd obviously fallen where they'd stood.

Further back, halfway between the DHD and the tree-line lay another Super Soldier. Colonel Kenneally was stood over it, his weapon trained and at the ready. He was prodding it gingerly with his foot, as if afraid to would rise up again at any moment.

Sam shivered, flashing back to the moment on the Alpha site a year ago. When the Super Soldier she thought dead and buried, had risen up behind her like some kind of grotesque phoenix and she'd known she was about to die. Until the Colonel had saved her.

Ever since that day, she'd loathed them with a passion. Every time they were involved, something went badly wrong. This time it was her father. A glance to her left assured her of his continued presence. She sucked in a horrified breath as she got her first good look at him, the urge to run over and fling herself down by his side almost too strong to deny. Oh, Dad…

The rusty brown and red patches on the bland Tok'Ra uniform stood out like beacons. Blistered and burnt flesh visible through the black charred cloth. SG-12's resident medic…Parry? No Perry, her brain corrected automatically, was bent over him, working feverishly. There was no movement from the man on the ground and her heart dropped to her boots. God. He looked…dead…

Some small part of her, the childlike piece which still saw her father as an always tall and strong man, wailed in sorrow. She quashed it firmly. Now was not the time. He needed her to be strong. For him.

The scuff of footsteps pulled her gaze forward. Kenneally flashed her a quick grin as he approached.

"All clear, Colonel. Those grenades of yours worked like a charm!"

She gave him a weak smile, too overwhelmed by the sight of her father's bloodied, battered body – sadly, all too real – to feel any true relief.

"Glad to hear it."

She was unable to keep her eyes from sliding sideways to look at the still form on the ground as she spoke. Kenneally caught the direction of her gaze and immediately jerked his head to his right.

"Go see to your father, Colonel. SG-12 have your back."

She hesitated, reluctant to go before she knew everything was secure. Although she knew it was, as she could see the remaining members of SG-12, Hughes and Bartlett, patrolling the tree-line in the distance. In truth, reluctant to go in case Perry had to tell her father was dead.

"Go on." Kenneally insisted.

With his words, something snapped inside of her. The reluctance fled and she jogged down the steps. Desperate to reach him now, in case she was wasting whatever time she might have left with him. Dimly, she was aware of Daniel and Teal'c flanking her and the sound of the gate dialling up as SG-5 opened their way back home.

She knelt down beside Perry, placing a hand on his shoulder. "How is he? Is he…?"

She couldn't finish. Perry pulled his hand back from Jacob's throat, where he had been checking for signs of circulation and gave her a reassuring look.

"He's alive, Colonel."

Relief flooded through her. He was alive! Thank god!

Perry continued talking, pulling her attention back to him. "It's bad, but it's mostly concentrated on his back, which is why I've left him as he's lying. It seems to be the most comfortable position for him."

Perry paused to take a breath. The stargate engaged behind her, the kawoosh loud in the relative silence, making her jump.

"His symbiote – "

"Selmak."

"Selmak, seems to be healing him, but we really need to get him back to the SGC. Can't hurt to give him a helping hand with our kind of medicine."

She nodded. "Is he conscious?"

"He's drifting in and out."

Her radio buzzed with static and she could hear the low drone of the UAV circling back around as it came off auto-pilot. They must have re-established contact, she concluded absently.

"…Cart…ou there?"

She toggled her radio. "Yessir."

"How's Dad?"

"He's alive."

And they were possibly the best words she'd ever spoken.

"Glad to hear it. Get him triaged then bring him back through, the door's open. We're gonna do a recon further afield with the UAV. Make sure there's no more hidden surprises lurking for you to find."

"Understood, sir. Carter out."

"O'Neill out."

"Sa-Sam?"

The quiet whisper made her look down to see Jacob desperately trying to focus. She quickly took his hand between both of hers. He was so cold.

"Dad?"

He coughed, wincing as the motion pulled on his injuries and blinked muzzily at her.

"You're here…yo-you're really…here?"

She squeezed his hand gently. "Yes, Dad. I'm here."

"Whe…what…" He started to cough heavily, each hack dry and heaving.

Movement at her side made her look up. Perry had taken the canteen off his belt and was holding it out to her.

"Try and get him to take some water. It might help."

She nodded. "Can you support his head and shoulders? Help him sit up a little?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She unscrewed the cap and held it to Jacob's lips as Perry lifted his head.

"Agh!"

She cringed as the movement blatantly hurt him. "Easy, Dad. Try and drink some water."

He licked his lips as she tipped the canteen and swallowed a little bit. She tilted the canteen again and he took a little more.

"Not too much." Perry cautioned.

She nodded, knowing the routine all too well but also knowing the field medic was simply doing his job.

She moved the canteen and Jacob took one last swallow before Perry eased his head back to the ground. He blinked a couple of times and looked back up, focusing on her properly for the first time.

"What…what are you doing here?" He asked weakly.

"SG-6 spotted you on the way back through the gate. The General authorised a rescue mission. We've come to take you home."

Jacob's eyes widened in what looked like terror. "No!"

He struggled to sit up, making himself cough again. "You have to go! Now! Danger… Super… Super Soldiers…"

She moved her hands to his shoulders, pressing on them, forcing him back down.

"Dad, please! Stay still, try not to talk, you're hurt. It's okay, we know about the Super Soldiers. We've taken them out."

"All…all of them?" He struggled for breath, forcing the words out, pain evident in the lines etched on his face.

She nodded frantically, still gripping his hand tightly between hers.

"Yes, Dad. All of them. The three guarding the gate and the one in the tree line."

Jacob's eyes slipped closed and his head rocked head from side to side as he fought to stay conscious and deliver the message he was so desperate to get across.

"Not…not…four…"

Sam felt an icy lump settle into her stomach.

He tugged weakly on her sleeve. "Six, Sam…there were six…"

Her radio squawked. "Crap! The UAV was just taken out! Get your ass back through the gate right now, Carter! That's an order!"

Then it all went to hell.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_


	11. Chapter Nine

**AN: froggy0319 & shetlandlace, here's the next bit for you, since I know you're waiting impatiently...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Nine**

The world exploded with the distinctive sound of a Super Soldier's weapon and the rattle of gunfire. Teal'c and Daniel were instantly on the ground on either side of them, kneeling outwards in a firing stance, eyes trained on the tree-line looking for a sign of attack.

"I don't see anything. You?" Daniel's voice was tense.

"I do not." Teal'c replied.

Sam shook her head, lifting her own weapon as she scanned the area. Still nothing. Not surprising if Teal'c couldn't see anything.

'_Come on Colonel, where are you?'_

She jumped as Kenneally's voice barked through her radio.

"We have a hostile in the trees! Five o'clock! Attempting to engage!"

They immediately spun to look in the direction behind the gate. They could see movement in the trees now, the flashes of weapons fire. The sound of gunfire grew closer.

"Hughes has been hit! We can't…" the transmission faded out into static, "…in the trees. We're falling back to the gate, see if we can take it out in the open!"

"Understood. Do you require backup?"

No reply. A different voice came over the air waves instead.

"Carter, report! What the hell's going on out there?"

"According to Dad there are two more Super Soldiers, sir. SG-12 are currently engaging one, but there is no sign of another."

Three green-clad figures burst from the trees. Ducking and weaving as they tried to stay out of the tall black figure's line of fire, but remain close enough to get a shot off. A figure stumbled and went down, clearly injured. The Super Soldier turned his way.

A hail of gunfire from a figure on its other side redirected its attention. The other man took advantage of its distraction and pulled the injured soldier to his feet. Before they could retake its attention, it concentrated its fire on the darting figure of the man who had provided the distraction. He dodged, doing his best to avoid being hit, but a shot flared and caught him in the side. He crumpled to the ground, not moving.

Kenneally swore. "Dammit, Bartlett's down! Colonel, we need some help here! It's cuttin' us to pieces!"

Sam winced as she saw Kenneally's figure crash to the ground in a desperate dive to avoid being hit. They couldn't allow that to happen. She couldn't allow that to happen. She checked her watch as an idea came to her and made her decision.

She signalled to SG-5 still holding the gate. "Forget the gate! Go help SG-12!"

She turned to Teal'c. "Give them a hand, Teal'c."

He nodded silently and took off in their direction at an easy half-crouched lope. Perry exchanged a quick look with her, concern for his downed team-mate evident in the grim set of his face.

"We've got to get your father on his feet and through the gate right now, or this mission's a bust!"

She nodded. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. Other people weren't supposed to give their lives in the place of her father. That wasn't what she wanted. But it was too late to change things now.

Sam got back on her radio. "Sir, I've sent SG-5 as backup. We're coming up on 38 minutes so the gate is going to shut down anyway. We'll dial it back up again and send our GDO code through when it's clear."

He cut her off. "Roger that. Have you any more of these grenade things we could send through to help out?"

"No, sir. I'm afraid not. We're going to have to do this the old-fashioned way."

"Understood. We'll be waiting for you to come through. O'Neill out."

She turned to Daniel. Opening her mouth to tell him to get over to the gate and be prepared to dial, in readiness for them to make a quick withdrawal.

"Colonel, look out!"

The cry came from her side and she had a split second to look and register its meaning, before the shot hit.

_**o0o**_

A body ploughed into her and knocked her down. Jacob cried out as she landed half on his side, half on his injured back. The searing bolt of heat flew by so close she could feel the warmth of it's passing on her face. A muffled sizzling thump was echoed by a cry of agony and the sickly smell of burnt flesh. The body covering hers relaxed.

Then hands were there, frantically tugging the limp form off her. Dazed, all she could think was how much this must be hurting her father.

"Sam? Sam!"

The hands grabbed her shoulders, hauling her upright. They began shaking her and she struggled to focus on the voice shouting at her. Looking up, she saw Daniel's panic-stricken face.

"Sam? Are you okay? Talk to me!"

She squeezed the hands still shaking her shoulders, letting him know she was alright.

"It's okay, Daniel. I'm okay."

Her eyes automatically scanned the area, looking for hostiles. Other than where the other SG teams were engaging the Super Soldier, there was nothing. Nothing at all.

The ground between them and the Stargate, now minus it's blue puddle, was clear. Who had fired at them? Coming up empty, she dismissed it as a stray shot from the battle still in progress and turned her mind to more immediate matters.

Daniel.

He was still staring at her, wide-eyed and she wasn't even sure he was listening. She grabbed his arms and shook him firmly.

"Daniel!"

He blinked and snapped out of it.

"I'm okay," she repeated softly, meeting his eyes to make sure he could see her.

He took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes for a moment. Sam was shocked to see tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"Daniel?"

He opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to dispel the treacherous water. He gave her a sheepish smile.

"Sorry about that. For a moment I was losing Janet all over again."

She squeezed his shoulders gently in understanding. She'd had more than a few flashbacks of her own over the years. It was the curse of the professional soldier. Deadly if they caught you at the wrong moment.

Like now.

Sadly Daniel wasn't even a soldier by profession. By rights, he shouldn't even be having flashbacks. A fact which was the worst – the only – downside of the cause to which they dedicated their lives.

The smile faltered as he looked past her and turned pale. Then he was spinning around, awkwardly stumbling a few feet on his hands and knees before retching into the dusty grass. Steeling herself, she turned around. And felt like joining him in tossing his cookies.

Perry lay spread-eagled where he landed when Daniel had tugged him off her, his eyes staring blankly at the sky. They weren't seeing it and never would again. The gaping, still-smoking hole where his stomach had been put paid to that. She swallowed hard, blinking back tears. He'd saved her life, no doubt about it. And he'd paid the price.

She reached forward with a trembling hand and closed his eyes. Holding her breath to keep out the stench of blood and death, she reached under the neckline of his shirt. He was still warm, her mind noted clinically. Finding the chain round his neck, she pulled off his tags. They didn't leave their people behind, but they might not have a choice this time.

Sitting back on her heels, she placed them in her vest pocket, the rip of the Velcro sounding harsh in the stillness. Even the sounds of battle were distant and muted. _'Thank you'_, she told him silently.

The moment was broken by a weak cough from beside her. Instantly she was scrambling over to her father's side, guilt striking for having forgotten all about him in her grief. She laid a trembling hand on his arm.

"Dad?" She asked tentatively.

"Sam?"

Jacob blinked up at her then attempted to roll over. He hissed sharply as his back suggested that wasn't such a good idea.

"What happened?"

People were asking that a lot today, she thought absently. She cleared her throat.

"Perry - " her voice hitched. "Perry was shot."

He turned his head to look and closed his eyes for a second when he saw the dead man.

"Damn," he said softly but with feeling.

He met her eyes again.

"Sam?" His voice was a soft query, asking if she was okay.

She blinked and looked away, unable to deal with the emotion of it all. Forcibly, she locked it down, becoming the Colonel once more. An echo of the General's voice rang in her head. Giving her the advice she needed on command, just like the man himself always had whenever she needed it.

'_Focus on what needs to be done, Carter.'_

Composing herself, she took stock of the situation. Unconsciously straightening her spine as she ran their various options through her head. Looking behind the gate, she saw that the fight with the Super Soldier seemed to be over, the tall black figure lying prone on the ground. The green-clad figures were ignoring it, concentrating on their wounded. A sure sign that it was no longer a threat.

She noted one man being helped to his feet who must be Hughes. Another was being carried. That had to be Barlett. They didn't seem to have incurred any more injures. Thank god. As she thought it, her radio crackled.

"Colonel, we've taken this one out. Suggest we head back through the gate before anything else comes out of the trees at us."

"Agreed, Colonel. We'll dial the gate."

She looked back at Jacob, her face now an unreadable mask. "We need to get to the gate. Can you walk?"

He returned her gaze for a long moment, but she didn't weaken, needing to be strong right now, knowing it was what was required of her. He nodded slowly, eventually understanding.

"Sure. With some help."

She smoothly rose into a half-crouch and moved over to Daniel who was still sat on his haunches, staring blankly at the ground. She touched his shoulder and he jumped violently before turning his head to meet her eyes.

"Daniel, go dial the gate."

Still saying nothing, he rose quietly and jogged back to the gate. Sam watched until he began punching in the symbols, recognising battle fatigue when she saw it, then walked back to her father. She knelt down by his side.

"Let's sit you up, Dad." She said, taking his elbow and placing her other arm round his shoulders.

"On three. One, two, three…"

"Argh! Holy - " his voice trailed off.

"Dad, you okay?"

Then she inwardly cursed herself for asking such an obviously dumb question.

He breathed deeply. "I will be, kiddo. I will be."

A shadow fell over them and she looked up to find Teal'c and Kenneally stood over her. Kenneally dropped to his knees next to Perry. He cast her an anguished look. She recognised it instantly. It was the look of leader unable to protect his people. She knew precisely how he felt. She'd been the ranking officer with Perry, it was her job to protect him. Instead, he'd died in her place. It wasn't right.

"What happened?"

She met his eyes, willing to accept his censure. "Super Soldier fire. It came out of nowhere, I didn't even see it. Perry…pushed me out of the way."

Kenneally nodded gravely, seemingly unable to risk speaking. His knuckles going white as he clenched his fists.

"He was a good man." She offered up as something to say.

"Yeah." Kenneally replied shortly. "He was."

Standing up, he looked over at Teal'c. "Teal'c, could you – "

Teal'c bowed his head and bent down, gracefully scooping up Perry into his arms.

"I shall carry him." His tone brooked no argument.

"Thanks Teal'c."

Her radio burst into life, making them all jump.

"Col…Cart…is…eynolds. What…your sit…ion?"

The transmission was patchy, the background noise almost overwhelming. She could barely hear him over the klaxons and babble of voices. Sam exchanged startled glances with Teal'c and Kenneally. What the hell was going on through the other side of the gate?

She thumbed her radio. "Say again?"

"Col…Carter. What's…our…situation?"

"We still have one Super Soldier unaccounted for. We're coming back through and we have wounded."

Daniel reappeared, hovering over her head. "I've sent the GDO code. SG-5 are heading back through with Hughes and Bartlett. They need a medic. Badly."

She gave him a quick glance of acknowledgement before her radio came to life once more.

"Und…stood. Get…back…side ASAP. Reynolds out."

She frowned, worry forming a tight ball in her stomach. What had happened? It sounded like something bad. More importantly, where was the General?

Daniel waved a hand at her radio. "But, uh, I guess you already knew that…so, never mind."

She gave him a smile, letting him know his efforts were appreciated. Kenneally nodded his head, stepping back.

"Guess we should go join them then."

"Yessir."

Sam took Daniel's offer of a hand and started to stand. Pain flared throughout her chest and she let go with a cry.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses:**

**Sci-Fi Gillian - Thank you.**

**shetlandlace - You're welcome.**

**froggy0319 - I miss Jack going through the gate with them too...but he's going to have enough to be dealing with soon to even consider pulling his hair out over SG1's latest troubles ;)**

**Quinndolynn -Yes, I know I am ;D And you know, Jacob's reaction to the whole Sam-Jack thing hadn't even crossed my mind until you mentioned it, lol. Guess that should tell you something...**


	12. Chapter Ten

**AN: Well, it looks like I've got some very smart readers out there. Let's hope I can keep you guessing where this is headed for a little longer! PhDelicious and stargate-fan this one's for you...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Ten**

Sam hit the ground with a thud, gasping as intense pain burned its way through her flesh. Her vision swam, black streaks covering it as she struggled to breathe. Crap, it hurt! It hurt so much…

She fought to stay conscious, trying to push back the darkness. She couldn't catch her breath, the pain taking it away from her and her heart faltered, skipping a beat. Tears leaked from her eyes with the pain and she thought of the General. No! She hadn't told him…

'_Carter!' _The cry of agony echoed loud in her ears.

Then as quickly as it arrived, the pain was gone. Like someone had flipped a switch. Taking a deep breath, she shakily raised her head, blinking back the tears. She could barely believe it no longer hurt.

"Sam?" It came in stereo from both sides. Daniel on one, her father on the other, trying desperately to manoeuvre himself closer to her. Teal'c and Kenneally looked on in concern.

"I'm fine," she muttered, running a hand across her chest and realising with shock that she was indeed okay. She had no idea what had just happened.

"I'm fine."

"What happened?" Kenneally asked. "You cried out like you were shot."

She rubbed her palm over her collarbone to soothe the numbing ache still present.

"I…I don't know…it…I thought I'd been shot."

She shook her head. "It felt like I'd been shot. My chest was on fire."

She looked up. "Sorry, guys."

Kenneally shrugged, relaxing at her words. "Not a problem. You probably pulled a muscle or something earlier. Could be worse."

There was silence as everyone soberly digested his words. He was right. Things could be worse. Much worse. She could've been Perry.

He cleared his throat. "Let's go home, shall we?"

She nodded her head, still trying to puzzle out what had just happened. A bad feeling began to grow inside of her. She'd never felt anything like it. No way she'd simply pulled a muscle! It felt like someone had just kicked her in the chest then set her alight.

For no apparent reason, a vivid vision of the General rippled through her mind again. She flinched as the man in her mental image was flung against a wall, before sliding limply to the floor like a puppet with it's strings cut. Then it was gone as well. The bad feeling continued to grow inside her and her desire to return home increased ten-fold.

She wanted to be on the other side of that gate. Right now. So she could make sure her team were okay. All of them, including the man they'd left behind. She knew it was an irrational fear, after all what the hell could happen to him in the safety of the SGC?

But what if it wasn't her pain?

The thought nagged at her. Now the idea was implanted in her head, she couldn't shake it. She knew without a doubt that she wouldn't begin to feel better, until they were on the other side of that wormhole with the General welcoming them back.

She let Daniel help her up without incident this time, then they got Jacob to his feet. He swayed alarmingly and she grabbed him, placing one arm over her shoulder. He didn't object even though she knew it must hurt. Daniel did the same and they followed Teal'c back to the gate, Kenneally taking rear-guard.

Weary and heartsick, they stumbled up the steps and into the cold bite of the wormhole, relieved beyond measure to be heading back to Earth.

They stepped back through the gate and into chaos.

_**o0o**_

For a moment she thought they were still on the planet. The smell of charred flesh and cordite hanging heavy in the air around them. Then she registered the klaxons shrieking their incessant tone, flashing red light over the dim scene in the Gate Room.

"Threat level Foxtrot Alpha Six! All security teams to the Gate Room!"

The room was full of soldiers, weapons trained steadily on the gate. They froze in reaction and the wormhole cut off with a snap behind them.

Sam stepped cautiously forward, trying to make herself heard over the cacophony of the sirens.

"Colonel Reynolds?"

Reynolds slowly lowered his weapon, gesturing at the defence teams to stand down. The klaxons shut off abruptly, their sudden absence loud in the Gate Room.

Reynolds cleared his throat, breaking the silence.

"Sorry about that, Colonel. Without the MALP or UAV, we had no way to confirm it was really you coming through. Especially after what just happened."

After what just happened? That did not sound good. Her bad feeling was increasing. It was now in danger of making her nauseous.

"What did just happen?"

Reynolds gave her a grim look. "Your _'unaccounted-for Super Soldier'_ came through the gate."

Oh god, no! Her eyes quickly scanned the Gate Room, taking in the details she'd been too exhausted to notice the first time.

The emergency lighting.

The closed doors and blast shield over the control room window.

The scorch marks on the walls and the unmoving figures on the floor.

The smell of battle, far heavier than would have come through with them.

A frown began to appear on her face as it all added up and the familiar figure she had been expecting to welcome them home, didn't materialise to make it all better with a pithy comment. The vision she'd experienced on the planet reran itself through her head in all its gory Technicolor, wrapping a cold feeling of dread around her heart.

She returned fear-filled eyes to a grim-looking Reynolds. Almost too afraid to ask her next question, in case she received the very answer she didn't want to hear.

"Where's the General?"

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses:**

**Sci-Fi Fan Gillian - Thank you.**

**Quinndolynn - Yes...I am ;D**

**froggy0319 - You'll just have to wait and see (you can't see my evil grin, but trust me, it's there)**

**PhDelicious - Maybe...**


	13. Chapter Eleven

**AN: Wow! If I'd known hurting Jack would get me that kind of response, I'd have done it earlier :D Anyway, here's Part Eleven, because I'd hate to be called an evil author who loves to torture her readers ;) I thought about giving you guys two chapters this time, but then I realised that if I did, I'd be leaving you all hanging off the edge of a cliff over the weekend. I thought that was too heartless even for me...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Eleven**

"The General was hit."

The words stopped her breath.

'_No!'_

Panic and worry ran through her. Not the General! Not Jack! Please no! Not because of her…

"What! How? I mean…is he okay?"

Daniel's anguished question broke through her paralysis and she listened intently to Reynolds's reply.

"He took down the Super Soldier, but it returned fire before he could neutralise it."

Colonel Reynolds nearly choked on the words, his face revealing a mix of anger and worry. He'd seen the General go down and had stepped in as Second in Command of the SGC. He had done his duty. He'd experienced the weight of command and watched his fellow soldiers die in his place, just as the General had apparently done only moments before he was shot. Just as she had done when Perry died in her place.

The images rushed into her head without her consent.

"_Colonel, look out!" _

_The jolt as she was pushed aside. _

_The feel of heat passing by in slow motion as the bolt flew past. _

_The thump as it hit and the smell…_

Bile rose up in her throat and she spun away, breathing harshly through her nose.

God, she had to get out of here!

Stumbling blindly over the carnage that lay before her, Sam quickly followed the two men who were now carrying her father to the infirmary.

"Sam?"

She heard Daniel call after her in confusion, but she didn't stop. She didn't need to be told what had happened to the General, she already knew. She had felt it back on the planet.

_Gut-wrenching pain. _

_Carter! _

_Blackness._

_The vision of the General being thrown back against the wall and falling motionless to the floor…_

If she asked for details regarding the General's injury from those who had witnessed it, she knew beyond a doubt that it would show the same scene she had seen inside her head. And at this point, she was too tired to continue to delay the inevitable conclusion, despite her reluctance to admit it.

Too drained to deny the one remaining plausible explanation. That the emotions she'd felt had come from him. They had to have, because they certainly weren't originating from her.

Unless she truly was going insane, in which case it wouldn't matter anyway.

She didn't know how or why this was happening and couldn't even begin to fathom an answer, but she had seen it happen. She knew that it was all horrifyingly real. And couldn't bear to hear the words confirming it.

She didn't want to know. To hear that he was –

Then she felt it. A tickle at the back of her mind. The tiniest brush against her consciousness. A sense of dulled pain and confusion. Her step faltered momentarily as it registered and the sense of dread that had clenched itself around her heart since her arrival at the SGC, loosened its grip. It was him.

He was alive. He hadn't died because of her.

Relief swelled up inside, roaring through her with a strength she hadn't expected. She barely had chance to take it all in, before an answering wave of relief overran her senses. He knew she was there and was glad to feel it.

She choked back a sob. He was relieved that she was alive? God! She didn't deserve his relief! The whole reason he was lying injured in the infirmary was because she had screwed up!

She reeled from the emotion of it all before forcibly slamming the brakes on the emotional overload, the sudden lack of feeling leaving her numb. She couldn't do this. Not right now. She forced herself to think dispassionately.

He was alive.

They were alive and she permitted herself the smallest feeling of comfort at the thought. Her father would recover and the General…

Suddenly she wasn't so sure. Her rigid self-control lasted little more than a minute before it broke as she panicked, realising that she didn't know…not for sure. She couldn't place the sensation now filtering through her weary body. She had felt him just a second ago. In pain. Confused. Relieved. But his presence had been there.

Now though…the tingle that had been so prevalent was muted. It was her own fault, she deduced through her fear. It had faded into more of a gentle hum as she struggled desperately to block him out. She was having trouble dealing with her own emotions right now, she couldn't handle his as well.

Paranoia struck hard and she was forced to admit to herself that blocking him out wasn't going to work. She couldn't cut herself off from him. Not after everything which had just happened. She wanted, no, needed to feel his presence. It wasn't enough to know that he was alive, she had to know that he was going to be okay.

Hastily, she lowered the mental walls she had thrown up mere seconds ago. The image of a penlight immediately popped into her head, a wave of irritation and complaint following swiftly on it's heels. She fought the urge to chuckle and relaxed.

If he was well enough to be complaining, then he was going to be fine.

_**o0o**_

The sound of running feet scuffing against concrete dragged her thoughts back to the present.

"Sam! You okay?" Daniel asked, as he caught up to her and began walking beside her down the corridor.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Glancing at her friend briefly, she turned her gaze resolutely to the front.

Her mood of relief was dashed once again by what she had seen from the corner of her eye. If she looked back, she knew she would see the devastation that had been done by one person.

Her.

She had ordered SG-5 away from the gate. She had allowed the Super Soldier to penetrate the SGC's defences, without warning. She had let so many die and for what?

Her father? She had sacrificed all these men and women for her own selfishness.

She had sacrificed her future. She had let the General become a victim of her pride.

Again.

Self-loathing filled her. She'd thought about nobody but herself in all of this. Yet it was everyone but her, who had paid the price. Just what kind of person was she to manipulate people to serve her own ends? She was no better than a Goa'uld!

Even now she was fretting over her own worries, instead of the people who had suffered because of her selfish need to do what she believed to be right.

The thought made her sick. And for a moment, she thought she was going to lose it and fall apart right there in the corridor. Pride was the only thing which prevented it. Her stubborn refusal to show weakness in public, where those whose respect she craved could see.

'_Pride goeth before a fall,'_ she thought wryly, even her own inner voice sounding remarkably Jack-like.

Belatedly, it occurred to her that she was probably broadcasting her feelings loud and clear to the one person whom she truly didn't want knowing how she was currently feeling.

Her thought was confirmed as vehement denial mixed with pity ran through her. It was followed immediately by a strong sense of acceptance, understanding and comfort

Her Dad was alive. She hadn't left him behind. She had accomplished her mission and come home alive. That was the most important thing and as such, the only thing which mattered.

She only wished she could believe it.

"Hey." Daniel grabbed her shoulder gently, jolting her out of her thoughts and snapping their tenuous connection.

"He's going to be fine. Selmak will have him back in shape in no time."

Sam nodded, but didn't answer.

"As for Jack, Reynolds said it was a glancing blow, not much damage. The fall knocked him unconscious. He'll probably be chomping at the bit to leave the infirmary by the end of the day."

Daniel waited for her to respond, but when she didn't, he tugged her to a stop.

"What are you doing!" Sam asked angrily, jerking her arm from his grasp.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Daniel retorted. "Sam, come on! They're alive and yet you're acting like they're dead!"

"They are dead, Daniel!" She spat at him, waving her hand down the corridor behind them.

"Look at them! So many and for what?"

Unsure how to proceed, he calmly answered, "Sam, they died to save others. It's what we do."

He saw that she was about to object, and hurriedly added, "You taught me that."

Crossing her arms in front of her like a shield, she baited him.

"When?"

Inhaling deeply, Daniel smirked grimly. "When you guys brought me back to the SGC and SG-1."

"Oh." Was the only response Sam could muster.

She remembered the awkwardness that had followed his return to humanity and in a sudden burst of clarity realised that was when her view about _'getting a life' _had really changed. She wanted to live again, like Daniel. Experience the awe and wonder that she'd somehow lost over the past seven years. Before she became jaded.

But at what cost? She had _'left behind' _the one man she had sworn to protect with her life so many times. Perhaps not verbally, but in her heart. She had locked him in that room with her so-called _'past life'_ and begun a new one without him.

And now he was in the infirmary. Alive, but not living. And it was her fault.

Determination filled her. It was past time for her to do something about it. She met Daniel's eyes with new resolve.

"I need to fix this, Daniel."

He smiled sadly. "You can't fix everything, Sam."

She sighed. "I know."

And she did. But at the very least, she had to try.

Knowing that Daniel would understand, she reached down and squeezed his hand, before turning away and walking the rest of the way to the infirmary alone.

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Review Responses:**

**eb2504 - Um...nothing? Yeah, I wouldn't believe me either! Thank you and I hope that wasn't too long a wait for you.**

**Floopygirl - Thank you, that scene was difficult to write but worth it to see the response! Pete doesn't bother me, so you don't need to worry on that account. As for what to read next...I think you should read both ;)**

**PhDelicious - I know. Hope that wasn't too long.**

**froggy0319 - Oh yes! Yes again, and yes, I am...**

**stargate-fan - Thank you.**

**debcole - You're correct. For now :P**

**Sci Fi Fan Gillian - Thank you!**

**Quinndolynn - YES! Thank you. Seriously though, why does he have to be alive? ;)**

**Nehebkau - Thank you. And so do I...**

**justme - Thanks. Was that quick enough?**

**SGAngeL - Yeah, don't you just hate them, lol! Thank you, though. And I guess that answers my question of why Jack has to be okay... :runs and hide from irate readers:**


	14. Chapter Twelve

**AN: Last chapter before the weekend, kids! Enjoy, because I doubt I'll be able to update again before Monday. Tomorrow I'm rewiring our home telephone system so I can finally get broadband (yay!) and Sunday I'm off to play at the seaside... Have a good weekend, everyone!**

_**o0o**_

Part Twelve 

Surrounded by a cacophony of displaced sounds, the first sensations of reality Jack recognised were darkness and pain. Horrific pain. It ebbed and flowed throughout his entire body as he fought to regain consciousness, before centring itself on his chest and to a lesser extent the back of his head, which throbbed in time with the ebb and flow.

A wave of intense worry and panic filtered through his mind. Which was kind of odd, since he knew it wasn't coming from him. He wasn't scared of death or pain. Not his own anyway. He'd determined a very long time ago that he would not fight to live, if he could not live his life his own way. Either he returned to being the man he had been before, or he wouldn't return at all. No way he was going to live out the rest of his life as vegetable, trapped in his own body. Confused now, he attempted to surface through the haze.

A faint beeping noise penetrated into his static filled mind and he tried to home in on its origin. After several agonising seconds, he recognised the sound for what it was. It was him. Or rather his heartbeat, registering on a monitor stationed beside his bed in the infirmary.

Heart monitor.

Bed.

Infirmary.

Again.

Great.

What had happened? The last thing he remembered was stepping out to take down the Super Soldier that had dared to enter his base. He'd seen an opening as it came round the corner and taken his shot. He'd known it would leave him wide open, but he wasn't going to let the damn piece of shit kill anymore of his people, shoot up anymore of his base. Not if he was able to prevent it.

The memory came to him with a sense of vicious satisfaction. He'd downed it. He remembered that much…but not before it had got off two shots of its own. He remembered knowing he was too close, that he wouldn't have time to avoid them…then it all went blurry.

He had a vague recollection of someone screaming his name…of wishing he hadn't been such an ass to Carter, that he'd told her when he had the chance…then he was shoved to the side.

Hard.

Burning agony in his chest.

He slammed backwards into something solid and unforgiving…

Pain.

Stars.

Carter!

Then…

Nothing.

Not quite ready to wake up and face the world, he drifted once more. Taking stock. Trying to get things straight in his head, sort through the swirl of thoughts. It wasn't easy with someone swinging what felt like a ten-pound lump hammer around inside it.

'_Start with the basics, Jack.'_

Reaching out past the pain, he concentrated on feeling. A mental command was sent to his toes. They wriggled in response. Promising. Repeating his actions, his fingers twitched. Good to know.

All limbs appeared to be present and accounted for. Guess he'd survived then. If he was dead, he wouldn't hurt this much.

Probably.

He felt like crap. And he ached. All over. But he was alive. Which was something. Whether it was a good something or not, was still up for debate. Right then, it sure as hell didn't feel like it. Wasn't there supposed to be a rule somewhere which said Generals were exempt from being shot? If not, there damn well was going to be one. Just as soon as he felt up to writing it.

A warm pulse of relief flooded through his veins, echoing in his mind. Once again, it was an emotion which didn't belong to him. Somehow, he wasn't the only one who knew he was alive. He recognised the presence making itself known. He'd know her touch, her feel, anywhere. Even inside his own head. She was back and she was okay. This time the relief which flooded through him was entirely of his own making.

Too tired and hurt to question how he knew, to even care how he knew, he simply basked in the feel of knowing. Until the heart monitor recorded the speeding up of his pulse in response.

"General?"

Bah. Damn machine had given him away. Traitor.

There was no chance of him slipping quietly back into delicious pain-free oblivion now. He concentrated on forcing open gummed-up eyes. A flicker of brightness registered in his mind's eye, then a full blown burst of light shone under his opening eyelid.

Involuntarily, Jack flinched away from the penlight and groaned as the light sent a spike of pain through his head. It was accompanied by a similar jolt through his chest, as it protested his sudden movement and he groaned again in complaint. Louder this time.

"General, can you hear me?"

'_Gee, ya think?'_

Out loud, Jack replied gruffly, "Yeah, I'm not deaf. Get that thing outta my face."

Ignoring her patient's command, the doctor – Brightman, his mind absently supplied - pointed the light into Jack's other eye, checked the pupil's reaction and then tucked the offensive object into her lab coat pocket.

Jack coughed painfully as his throat cramped at his words and winced as the action pulled on his chest. Then winced again as that pulled as well.

His voice had sounded weak even to his own ears and he cursed inwardly. It was the thing he hated most about being laid up in the infirmary. Showing weakness. Not being at his best and having other people around to see it. He loathed not feeling a hundred percent. These days, it seemed that each time he was injured, it took him longer and longer to get back to that point. And then when he did actually manage to reach it, he stayed there for less and less each time.

There was a moral in there somewhere, he was sure of it. Yeah. It was _'stop getting injured Jack, you old fart. You're getting old and your body can't cope with it as well as it once did'_. Unfortunately, that seemed to be easier said than done. Christ, he hadn't even gone through gate this time and he'd still been injured!

There should be a rule preventing the bad guys coming to visit him. In fact, he'd get right on with writing it up, along with the other one about the non-shooting of Generals. Yeah. Just as soon as he felt like getting out of bed. Which wasn't going to be any time soon at this rate.

'_Face it Jack-me-boy, you're old'._

There was no getting away from it. Right then, he felt every single damn one of his years and each and every one of them was pulsing with a bone-deep gnawing ache right there next to his collarbone.

He coughed again, harder. Unable to stop himself as the cramp turned into a dry tickle, aggravating his throat. His eyes slammed shut, water leaking involuntarily from beneath his eyelids as pain lanced through his chest once more, making him hiss sharply in response.

His eyes stayed shut as he tensed, forcing himself to keep still and fight the urge to cough, until the pain went away.

"Here."

Slowly, he opened his eyes again, blinking to dispel the water he refused to call tears. He wasn't crying. It was just a reaction to the fact that he was sore. Damn sore. A spoon full of ice chips hovered just beyond the end of his nose. He licked dry lips and obediently opened his mouth. Eager enough for something to ease his throat to ignore the ignominy of being fed like a baby.

There came the delicious feel of coldness on his tongue, before the ice began to melt and slide down his throat, easing the burning. His eyes closed in pleasure this time, as he savoured the sensation, before swallowing carefully. Funny how every time he landed in his back in an infirmary bed, it made him appreciate the small things in life. Like being able to drink. Move without pain. Take a leak by himself. Maybe it was karma. Or something.

He managed another couple of spoonfuls before gingerly shaking his head. Brightman placed the cup and spoon back on the stand at the side of his bed.

"Better?"

"Yeah…" He murmured.

Forcing the pain down with the ease of years of practise, he met her eyes and asked the most important question.

"So what's the damage, Doc?"

_**o0o**_

Brightman took a deep breath and began.

"Well, there's no obvious sign of cranial trauma, other than the contusion on the back of your head. There's been no major swelling to the site and no drastically erratic change in your blood pressure, which is a good sign. You do however have a fairly nasty concussion and I'm afraid I can't let you sleep for too long a period at any one time, in case it proves to be more serious. Therefore, I'm going to insist that you spend tonight in the infirmary, so that I can keep an eye on you and make sure your condition doesn't deteriorate."

Ah, great. Jack shook his head slowly, trying not to again set off the marching band inside it.

He opened his mouth to argue, but that was as far he got before Brightman cut him off.

"You're staying in, General and that's final. At least for tonight."

The glare she gave him impling that she'd be strapping him to the bed if he dared to even think about trying to leave it.

Crap. He closed his mouth without speaking. He hurt too darn much to argue.

He didn't relish the thought of being stuck in the infirmary, but knew from bitter experience that it was pointless to argue, not when the docs got that look on their face. Within these four walls, the medical professional was king, overruling even the base CO. Which meant if the doc wanted him kept in that badly, then in was where he'd be staying.

As a Colonel, he could have bitched, whined and generally made an ass of himself until they got fed up of him and threw him out. But he was a General now. He had to provide a good example for people to follow. These guys were the best. They did not need the added pressure of a bunch of injured soldiers acting up, merely because their CO's behaviour told them it was okay to do so. Which meant he'd have to grit his teeth, grin and bear it.

Yeah, command really did suck sometimes.

"So, I'm gonna live?"

Brightman smiled. "Yes, General, you'll live, though you will be unable to resume normal duties until that blast wound heals."

She paused before continuing. "There is a possibility that you may need a skin graft, but I'm hoping it won't come to that."

Another skin graft. Fantastic. Just what he wanted. Not.

"The force of the shot was enough to fracture your collarbone, so even when you are able to be up and around, you'll have to wear a sling for a few weeks as well, I'm afraid."

Oh, wonderful. A sling as well! This day was just getting better and better.

Brightman gave him a sharp look, as if she could read the sarcastic bent of his thoughts in his face. Which she probably could, given that she was one of Frasier's protégé's. A pang went through him at the thought. God, he missed the Napoleonic little power monger! Who'da thunk it? But he did. Every time he was stuck here. Her memory yet another reason for him to loathe being stuck in the infirmary.

Belatedly, it occurred to him that Brightman was still talking and his mind was wandering. He forced himself to pay attention. Oh yeah, no doubt about it, he had a concussion alright. He was in too much pain for happy drugs to be the cause.

"You were very fortunate it was only a glancing blow, you know. Mere centimetres to the right and it would have killed you."

"Thought it had done." The words were out before he realised he'd uttered them.

Yep. Definitely concussed.

Brightman narrowed her eyes. "Do you remember what happened?"

He shrugged, then regretted it as he winced and she glared. Thinking it best not to antagonise her any further, he reluctantly answered.

"Shot…was pushed…got hit. That's it."

She nodded. Jack cocked his head to one side. "What happened?"

She wouldn't meet his eyes. The look on her face telling him she didn't want to say.

"Doc?"

He didn't make it an order, but the tone of voice implied one. She sighed heavily before meeting his eyes and replying.

"Airman Willis pushed you out of the way."

Willis. He frowned, trying to put a name to the face. Willis…SG-8. An ever-present cheeky grin and freckles below a shock of spiky cropped ginger locks popped into his mind. Damn. He was just a kid.

"Did he - ?"

The sorrow in her eyes gave him his answer. "I'm sorry, sir."

She looked away before continuing. "Like I said, you were extremely fortunate."

Thinking of the dead airman who had blocked the path of the shot, Jack muttered quietly, "Yeah. Real fortunate."

A kid. A goddamn kid. With everything to live for. Dammit! Why? Why had he done it? Better that it had taken him, than a boy who'd yet to even truly experience life!

He wasn't the one that people had to dive in front of, in order to protect, for cryin' out loud! He was supposed to be the one protecting his people! Not the one getting them killed. They weren't supposed to die for him.

He wasn't worth it.

"Sir?"

Pulled out of his reverie, Jack saw the understanding and concern in the doctor's eyes, and knew that his train of thought had been obvious. He fought to keep his face expressionless as he answered her unspoken query.

"I'm fine, Doc. Go check out the others."

Brightman stared at him for a long moment. He returned her gaze steadily, keeping his face a blank mask to disguise the turmoil within. With a heavy sigh, the doctor caved and reluctantly stepped away, tugging open the curtain . Then she hesitated and turned back around.

"Willis was doing his job, sir. He knew the risks, the same as the rest of us. If you insist on blaming yourself for what happened, then you do no justice to his memory and he will have died for nothing! He looked up to you. He respected you, sir. The same as everyone else in the SGC. He did no more than any one of us would have done in his place. No more than you yourself have done in the past.

"I know you're used to being the one saving everybody else, but you're the commander of the SGC now, sir. In the eyes of those you command that makes you someone who needs protecting, because we don't want to want to lose you.

"You may not like it, but you are going to have to accept it. I suggest you think on that while you try and get some rest. I'll send someone in to check on you in half an hour. You'll be due for some pain relief by then."

Pause.

"Sir."

On that final note, she spun on her heel and walked out. Pulling the curtain closed behind her and leaving a dumbfounded Jack O'Neill to stare after her in shock. For once in his life, unable to form a reply.

_**o0o**_

_**TBC…**_

**Review Responses:**

**froggy0319 - At the risk of giving away upcoming plot devices, let's just say that he tries...**

**Quinndolynn - Thank you! And yes, I know, he has to be okay because he's _Jack_, but the thing is, I _like _whumping Jack... And see you didn't have to wait a whole weekend for another chapter and I still didn't leave you on a cliffhanger! Isn't I good :grins:**

**shetlandlace -Thank you! I fully intend to have a great weekend, hope you do too. Tho you are making me feel a li'l guilty now, cos I know what's gonna happen next...**

**PhDelicious - There's a reason for me not posting everything at once...and that's because I'm a slow writer. It takes me a week to write probably a couple of chapters, then they have to go to my co-writer for approval and additions and _then _go for beta. Which means there'd be a long gap between updates if I posted it that way and I'm sure you all wouldn't want that! Plus if I'm currently :counts quickly: four chapters ahead, it means I can tease you with hints about what's going to happen next :laughs evilly:**

**justme - Thank you! Hope you have a great weekend. And if you want to avoid withdrawal, you could always print it off and take it with you! ;)**


	15. Chapter Thirteen

**AN: First off I want to apologise for the complete and utter lack of any updates at all during the last week. My bad :( See, I generally do my updates (and most of my writing for that matter) during quiet periods at work. Only I finally found out late on the Friday before, after a six week wait, that I'd got the new job I desperately wanted :squees: and that they wanted me to begin as of Monday!**

**I'm now one of a a group of five Site Editors responsible the overhaul and redesign of a web domain including 35+ sub sites and over 100, 000 pages. So in between getting started on that and settling in to my new role, I swear I've barely had the time to breathe since then, let alone concentrate on my story! However, things have settled down (a little) now, so it's back to the fic...**

**_o0o_**

**Part Thirteen**

Standing in the doorway of the infirmary, Sam took in the frantic scenes inside with bleak acceptance. The cries of pain. The burnt and blood-spattered clothing lying on the floor where it had landed, after being cut away by grim-faced medics in their urgency to help the casualty.

She shuddered. She had the utmost amount of respect for those whose job it was to heal the wounded. She knew it wasn't something she'd ever able to do, field medicine was her absolute limit.

"Excuse me, ma'am!" Came an urgent voice from behind her.

She moved hastily to the side out of the way as another still form on a gurney was wheeled past. Spying one of the men who'd brought her father in, she grabbed his arm as he hurried by her.

"Excuse me Sergeant, do you know where my father is?"

He pointed to a bed out of the way near the wall. "He's over there, ma'am."

"Thank you."

The Sergeant nodded before moving off to continue whatever task she had interrupted.

Sam picked her way past the row of tired-looking men and women still awaiting treatment for minor injuries. Careful not to disturb them too much and jostle them from the exhaustion-induced trance-like state where pain was numbed.

She approached the bed quietly, not wishing to disturb him if he was resting and watched him quietly. He was laid on his side like he had been when they found him on the planet. An IV line ran into the back of his hand and he was wearing the ubiquitous back-less gown. Someone had cleaned him up and dressed the wounds on his back.

He looked much better than when she had first set on eyes on him. The pain lines were not so drawn and he appeared to be sleeping peacefully. Gratitude filled her as it finally sunk in that she wasn't going to lose him today. She rested her hand lightly on his shoulder.

"Dad?" She asked softly.

Jacob's eyes opened and flashed white. "Samantha."

She froze. The sight still disconcerting when it happened, even after six years of becoming accustomed to it.

"Selmak?"

"I regret that your father is currently sleeping. He is exhausted. He has been in great pain for several hours. I fear attempting to heal us took all of my strength and I was unable to help him with the pain during this time. I apologise for this."

"It's not your fault, Selmak. Are you going to be okay?"

"I believe so."

"Thank you for saving him." She said earnestly, meaning every word.

Selmak smiled. "Jacob is a gracious host Samantha, I have no desire to lose him any time soon. Or the people that he has brought into my life."

Sam blushed and looked down. "Thank you."

"I can wake him, if you wish to speak to him?"

She shook her head. "No. No, let him get some sleep. I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

She paused. "That you were both okay."

"We shall be, Samantha. Have no fear."

Sam hesitated. Her real reason for coming to the infirmary rising to the fore now that she knew her father was going to recover.

"Rest well, Selmak."

Selmak inclined his head acknowledgement and closed his eyes. Turning away, Sam scanned the infirmary, looking now for the General. He was nowhere in sight. Spotting the CMO instead, she made her way over to her.

"Dr. Brightman."

The shorter woman turned round, frowning. Her expression cleared as she recognised the person calling her name.

"Colonel Carter!" She gave her an apologetic look. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait for your post-mission check-up. We have bigger priorities right now…"

"Oh!" The thought of her medical check hadn't even crossed Sam's mind. "No, that's okay. I…I heard the General was brought here?"

Understanding dawned and Brightman smiled. "Yes."

She pointed down the end of the infirmary where a bed was curtained off from the chaos.

"He's over there. You can go see him, if you like. He is awake."

"Will he…I mean…is he going to be okay?"

Brightman's smile was reassuring. "He's going to be just fine, Colonel. He's a little worse for wear but there's nothing wrong with him that won't heal, given time."

She'd already known that but somehow, hearing it from a medical professional made it feel more real and she sagged in relief. Brightman gave her a sympathetic look.

"Go see for yourself. Might cheer him up to have a visitor."

Sam returned it with a knowing look. "Cranky?"

Brightman rolled her eyes. "You have no idea."

Sam grinned. "Thanks for the heads-up."

"Keep him from harassing my staff and we'll call it evens!" Brightman yelled over her shoulder, as she made her way to the medic gesturing for her attention.

_**o0o**_

Sam approached the curtained-off area of the infirmary with no small amount of trepidation. This had seemed like such a good idea before, but now… She paused outside, her hand resting on the curtain, hesitant to enter. Afraid to see the damage her actions had caused.

A sigh sounded from the other side of the cloth. "Are you gonna stand there all day Carter? Or are you gonna come say hi?"

He knew she was there. No surprise. If she could feel his presence then it was a safe bet that he could feel hers as well. She slipped inside the curtain and let her gaze rove over his form where he lay on the bed. Hungry for the sight of him, to see with her own eyes that he was truly okay.

His chest was swathed in bandages and he looked tired but that was all. Pain carefully masked in the presence of a visitor, as she knew it would be.

He offered a weak smile and she could feel the sincerity of the happiness behind it. Knew that he was truly glad to see her and felt something hard and knotted within her, ease with the knowledge.

"Hey." He murmured.

"Hey," she replied quietly. Basking in his happiness at seeing her and returning it in full measure.

"How, uh…" she gestured at his chest. "How are you?"

He shrugged, then winced. "Oh, you know…broken collar-bone, second-degree burns, concussion… Same old, same old."

She flinched as the movement hurt him and looked away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

His eyes narrowed. "Not your fault, Carter."

Sudden frustration bubbled up inside her. Anger at the lives lost because of her decisions and her inability to do anything to make it right made her lash out, unthinking.

"How the hell would you know!"

He cringed as if physically struck and the sight of it was like a bucket of cold water in the face, dousing the remaining flickers of her rage and replacing it with shame.

Her mind suddenly filled with images. A response to the hate she'd unexpectedly thrown at him.

A small browned-haired boy… _'Charlie,'_ his mind supplied the name for her, the aching loss present in the single name heart-breaking to feel. Kawalsky, Daniel, Daniel again, Sha're, Skaara…the list went on.

The feelings of guilt and self-loathing which accompanied them were overwhelming and she closed her eyes in despair. She'd done it again. The one thing she'd promised herself that she would never to repeat. However unintentional it had been, she'd hurt him. He knew. Better than anyone. How could she ever have thought anything else?

This time the guilt and self-loathing was entirely her own. God, she was pathetic! Taking out her frustration on an injured man! One who was in that state because of her.

She spun around intending to leave.

"I'm sorry, sir, " she choked. It seemed that was all she was capable of saying to him these days.

"Carter…"

She ignored him, moving to open the curtains and heard the rustle of bed-clothes behind her as he moved.

"Sam!"

Her hand clenched on the thin fabric, doubling over as a bolt of excruciating pain lanced through her chest and nearly sent her to her knees.

A moan from behind her broke through the haze and she straightened. Turning back around as the pain eased, before returning in a wave stronger than before. She couldn't help the gasp which escaped as she hunched over once more.

It wasn't fading this time. It was getting worse.

Jack panted heavily, trying to control the pain as he looked at her. The lines of agony etched deeply into his strong features.

She took a faltering step towards him. "Sir?"

The pain struck again and she staggered in response, the feel of it stealing her breath.

The General's jaw locked, muffling a scream as his back arched off the bed.

"Hurts…" He hissed.

He half-collapsed back onto the bed, clutching his arm to his chest. Fear filled her. He never admitted to hurting. What was wrong with him? Brightman said he was okay, that he was going to be fine. But this…this was nowhere near fine.

Panic-filled eyes met hers, wide and startled, and she could feel his fear feeding her own as he began to struggle to breath. Feel the tightness in his chest – in her chest – as he fought for each inhalation. Suddenly she was scared for his life. She stumbled back, yanked open the curtains and screamed.

"Doctor Brightman!"

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Review Responses:**

**Jennyvre Moss -** Lol, don't worry about it! After the week I've just had, I fully understand the lack of functioning brain cells...

**Ilovesg1 -** Thank you! Hope this wasn't too long a wait.

**PhDelicious -**Get that fic posted :grins: Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not one to talk... I always liked the Jack and Janet adversarial dynamic, so there was no way I could put Jack in the infirmary in a Season 8 fic, without having him think of her. :sniffs: Especially since, as you say, nobody else seems to bother.

**froggy0319 -** :dies laughing: Yeah, I think it's fairly safe to say I'm a shipper at heart, (take a look at my other fic if you're still worried) so you don't need to cross your fingers on that account! Though, if you want to leave them crossed as a tribute to our favourite Kelownan, I won't object :misses Jonas:

**justme -** Oops. Hope you didn't go into withdrawal waiting for this chapter ;)

**SGAngeL-** Did that answer your question about Jacob? And yeah, the infirmary's getting pretty crowded. And it's about to get even more busy...

**stargate-fan & Sci Fi Fan Gillian -** Thank you!

**tgc -** Thank you, I'm glad you found it too! I can't wait to see where I'm going with it either. Actually that's not true...I know where I'm going with it ;)

**Quinndolynn -** But...everyone here loves whumping Jack, don't they? Oh no, wait - that's the jackfic girls... Sorry, wrong forum. :D I'm glad you like Brightman, I wanted to see if I could expand her character and make her likable, but now I can't get her to shut up!

**WarmTea -** Thank you. Glad it wasn't too confusing for someone who hasn't read the originating fic to follow. Hope this update was soon enough.

**Matt1969 -** Thank you! And I promise faithfully that it'll be submitted to SJFic...as soon as it's finished. I can't face WIP harassment -sorry, encouragement ;) -from more than one place at a time :D

**Oralindie -** Thank you! Here's more...

**Amaunetx -** There, I updated. Happy now :D And I'd say they'll figure it out, oh, probably about chapter 20 ;) I can also promise faithfully that it will have a happy shipper ending. Because I like happy shipper endings. After all, what's the point in putting the characters through all the angstif there's no payoff at the end?

Phew, think that's everyone! If I missed anyone who reviewed then I'm sorry, but there were an awful lot for the chapter...


	16. Chapter Fourteen

**Thanks for the reviews everyone! And for the congrats on my new job, you guys are the best :hugs: As a thank you, here's another chapter...**

**_o0o_**

**Part Fourteen**

Brightman and several members of her nursing staff appeared at a flat out run. The nurses checked the machines as Brightman focused her attention on the man writhing in agony on the bed.

"What happened?" She snapped at Sam, holding Jack's shoulders against the bed in an effort to keep him still..

"I – I don't know!" Sam managed to gasp out between clenched teeth. "We were talking…he tried to move…his chest hurts."

And boy, did she know exactly how much. Her vision swam from the intensity of the pain being shared with her, black spots dancing in front of her eyes as she struggled to breath calmly. She was beginning to understand what people meant when they said their head was ringing. The feeling was enough to make her want to lose her breakfast.

Brightman looked at her sharply, before she was forced to turn her attention back to the man she was holding down, as he thrashed beneath her hands.

"General? General, I need you to keep still! You're going to tear your stitches!"

His eyes rolled back in his head and he lost consciousness. The overwhelming pain she felt vanished with it and Sam reeled as its sudden absence left her light-headed.

Her vision went grey and she shook her head desperately to clear it. Dammit, she was not going to pass out! Not now. Hands grabbed her and she screamed at them silently.

'_Don't help me, help the General!'_

There was nothing wrong with her, it was the General they should be concentrating on.

"Colonel! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" She snapped, shaking off the hands. Her whole being riveted on the scene playing out in front of her, she found herself unable to look away.

"BP's dropping." The other nurse said tersely as the machines began to squeal.

Brightman cursed under her breath. "Dammit General, don't do this!"

Sam couldn't help the sob of disbelief which escaped. No! This couldn't be happening! She couldn't lose him…not when she still had so much to tell him.

Brightman shot her a quick look as if suddenly remembering she was there.

"Colonel, you're going to have to leave."

Sam shook her head furiously. No! She wouldn't interfere, she'd stay out of the way but she wasn't leaving him.

Then a body was blocking her view of him and she was being propelled forcibly backwards.

"I'm sorry Colonel, but I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside."

"NO!" She protested violently.

Off-balance from being pushed backwards she was unable to prevent the burly nurse from pushing her out of the infirmary. She stumbled as he released her arms and was left staring in shock at the door as it slammed shut in front of her.

_**o0o**_

"Sam?"

Still in shock, she turned to see Daniel and Teal'c hurrying down the corridor towards her.

"Sam, what happened?"

"I – " She stared at them helplessly as words failed her.

Teal'c's large but gentle hand landed on her shoulder.

"Colonel Carter. What has transpired?"

Drawing strength from his solid presence she took a shuddering breath and tried to explain.

"We were talking, just talking – "

She faltered, not knowing how to explain. Courage deserting her at the thought of telling them that she had caused this. How could she tell them that Jack was lying there, fighting for his life, because of her?

"Jack?" Daniel interrupted.

She nodded, a jerky movement as she tried to force the words out.

" - and he was fine. He was fine, then he just…he just…"

'_I hurt him. Again. I tried to run. Again. He tried to stop me. Again. And now he's in pain. Again. Because of me.'_

The words lodged in her throat and she shook her head, unable to continue. She couldn't speak them aloud, couldn't tell them… The words just wouldn't come out.

"He was fine," she whispered miserably, unable to accept what had just happened.

Daniel opened his mouth as if to ask for more details, but closed it again as her eyes filled with tears. Swallowing hard, he reached out and laid his hand flat on the closed door, as if reaching out to the man behind it.

She blinked rapidly, trying to force away the tears of shame which had suddenly appeared. She wasn't going to lose him. She wasn't. He was going to be fine. Brightman had said so…

She concentrated on the tingle at the back of her mind which indicated his presence. It was fading rapidly.

The gentle hum turning into a faint buzz that she could barely feel. She clung to it desperately, as if she could hold on to him through mere force of will alone. Somehow she knew if it vanished then he would go with it. But despite her best efforts he slipped through her grasp.

Then it was gone.

And she felt him die.

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Response Reviews:**

SGAngeL - :ducks from angry mob: Oh, yeah, yeah, Jack'll be fine... :runs:

Amaunetx - Glad to hear it. And Jacob's one of my fave characters too :( Gutted.

Quinndolynn - Yeah, jackfic! www (dot) jackfic (dot) com. Official home of the jackfic mailing list on yahoo groups. It's one of my fave groups cos they're all so nice and friendly. Okay, more Brightman then, just for you. So tell me, which is worse...a Jack's dying cliffhanger, or this one? ;)

froggy0319 -Hurrah for Jonas! And how do you know Jack can't feel Sam's feelings too? ;)

shetlandlace - Thank you! And I'm afraid I'm going to be leaving you hanging again... and again...and again...


	17. Chapter Fifteen

**AN: Well would you look at that...a whole page of reviews just for one chapter! I'm in awe, thank you so much. To give you all a rest from cliff-hanger stress, I hereby certify this chapter to be free of cliffhangers...**

_**o0o**_

**Part Fifteen**

The incessant tone from the heart monitor reverberated throughout the enclosed space, as the nurses scurried to ready the instruments required for an attempt at bringing their patient back to life.

"Charge paddles to two hundred." Doctor Brightman ordered sharply as she watched the monitor register a flat line.

"Charging." Came the clipped response from the nurse manning the defibrillator. The all too familiar whine rang in their ears as the doctor and a nurse continued manual compressions to try and restart Jack's heart.

As the machine reached its apex, the nurse called out, "Ready."

"Clear!" Brightman called.

She placed the paddles on Jack's chest, carefully avoiding the bandages covering his wound and pressed the buttons to release the charge. Electricity jolted into him as his body jerked violently off of the bed.

"No change." One of the nurses announced as she studied the heart monitor.

Brightman shook her head. What the hell was going on with him! He'd been perfectly fine half an hour ago. She didn't understand it. Had she missed something?

"Again, this time at 250." She ordered, guilt making her terse.

She waited for the machine to respond, then repeated, "Clear."

The second jolt propelled Jack's body upward again but still failed to have the desired effect. Brightman swore silently to herself.

'_Come on General, dammit!'_

It didn't look good, but she wasn't prepared to give up on him just yet.

"300," she said firmly, determined to do everything that it was within her power to do, in order to bring him back. They weren't ready to lose him.

The nurse hastened to comply, knowing that if this one didn't work, then the General was most likely beyond help. A scenario which none of them wanted to contemplate.

"Clear."

The ghastly sound of electrical current contacting with human flesh was all that could be heard. The nurses studied the monitor desperately for a pulse. The atmosphere around the bed growing tense as the moment stretched without change.

A faint beep registering on the display unit, was followed by silence again.

"Come on…" Brightman begged quietly again, offering up a silent prayer.

"Come on…"

An agonising second passed before another beep was heard.

Then another.

And another.

The nurse watching the monitor raised dazed eyes to look at Brightman.

"Doctor, I have a pulse." She said softly and somewhat unnecessarily.

Brightman blew out the breath she'd been holding, in relief.

"Thank God."

She shoved the ear-pieces of the stethoscope into her ears and leaned over to listen to Jack's heart.

"I've definitely got a rhythm, but it's slow and thready." The doctor stated grimly as she looked up to review the vital signs on the monitor. Another sound caught her ear underneath the weak th-thump of his heart and she frowned, listening intently. It was a sound that shouldn't be there.

She slid the stethoscope slightly further up his chest. A sterile pad had been hastily applied over his wound. The absorbent material soaking up the precious red liquid which seeped sluggishly through the bandages over now torn stitches. Pushing it underneath the pad, she listened intently, her face growing paler with each second that passed.

Removing the stethoscope, she tugged away the pad and bandages, sucking in a deep breath at the sight which greeted her. The change between now and how it had looked half an hour ago was shocking. A large deep bruise spread out from a point several inches away from his actual wound. A sure sign of blood leaking under skin with nowhere to go.

_**o0o**_

She stepped back, almost jerking the ear pieces out in her haste and immediately started issuing orders.

"He's not out of danger yet. We need to get him into surgery ASAP, he's bleeding internally."

"Mary – " She turned to the nurse at her side. "Page Dr Warner. He should just have finished surgery on a member of SG-5…tell him we have a suspected haemorrhage and I need him to scrub in again immediately."

"Yes, ma'am."

Turning to address the charge nurse, she asked, "How long was he down?"

The nurse read the printout from the monitor and answered softly, unable to meet her eyes.

"Twelve minutes."

She swore again. Janet had always said this man had the ability to make her curse a blue streak. She was beginning to understand precisely what her mentor had meant by her words.

The earlier blunt trauma to the back of his head now combined with this… The chances of a bleed on the brain, or a coma, possibly even the loss of higher brain function were great. She desperately wanted to do an MRI, get a clearer picture of what was going on inside his head.

Unfortunately, right now, the most pressing need was to attempt to stop his internal bleeding. Before it put too much pressure on the tissues around his heart and stopped it again. She wasn't sure she could bring stabilise him a second time. At least not enough to have surgery performed. They had to act. Now.

His other injuries would simply have to wait. All she could do was hope for the best.

She rubbed her forehead tiredly, the beginning of a nagging headache making itself felt. Today had been her worst day in the six months she'd been in charge and it's end was nowhere in sight. Pushing away her own woes, she turned back to the charge nurse.

"Alright…start another IV and get him prepped. I want a constant eye kept on him until we can ascertain exactly what caused this."

They might as well get him prepped as much was possible now, it would save time later.

"Contact me immediately if there are any changes. Or when Dr Warner is ready to begin."

She didn't think her diagnosis was inaccurate but it never hurt to have a second opinion. Especially when she was so tired.

The nurses nodded and quietly began to gather together their equipment as the doctor stared at her patient.

She recognised the haggard expression his face wore. He looked tired and old. It was shocking to see. She narrowed her eyes, looking him over with a clinical eye. The lines of stress were easy to spot and now that he had no baggy BDU's behind which to hide, so was his weight loss. He was pale and thin. It seemed that being the General was ageing him quicker than life out in the field.

She frowned as she remembered the notes in his medical file.

'_Loses weight easily due to a combination of high metabolic rate and a strenuous and stressful lifestyle. Finds it difficult to regain optimum weight, particularly after injury. Recommend high protein and carb diet during recovery.'_

It was one of the reasons his eating habits were never called into question. As Janet had once remarked to her, he needed all the calories he could get. She tapped her fingers on the bed rail. Seemed like he hadn't been getting anywhere near the required amount just recently.

Her frown increased as she tried to recall his most recent physical and was shocked to discover that the last one she could remember carrying out was a good three months ago, just after his return from Antarctica. The man had a history of medical avoidance where possible, which likely accounted for it.

Of course, no longer going off world meant he didn't require such a regular check up, but still…

His job was no less stressful and if anything the hours were longer. Remorse filled her. The transition could not have been easy for him and as his CMO, she should have been checking that it was not having an adverse effect on his health.

She made a mental note to insist on some sort of schedule in future. Unfortunately, if her unspoken diagnosis was correct, then that would be the least of her worries. Jack O'Neill had cheated death again today. But he was in for a very long recovery. If he recovered.

Her eyes flew up as the heart monitor registered an erratic beat. She held her breath, releasing it slowly as it settled down once more, and sighed heavily. They couldn't afford to wait much longer, not without running the risk of losing him again. For good this time. She didn't think he'd survive another resuscitation. And she certainly didn't want to think about what would happen then.

Brightman reached out and patted his ankle softly.

"You stay with us now, General." She ordered, even knowing as she did so that he wouldn't be able to hear her.

"I'm not going to have you up and die on me. Not on my watch, you hear?"

Throwing a final concerned glance at his vitals on the monitor, she stepped away from the bed, and turned to leave the infirmary. It was time to let his friends know that he was still alive and perform the unpleasant duty of informing Colonel Reynolds that he was now officially in command of the base.

She gave a rueful shake of her head. God, what a mess…

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Review Responses:**

**Jennyvre Moss - Of course he can! Just not in my fic...no wait, that's not strictly true. I think I wrote a drabble where Jack died once. Just to prove that you_ could_ kill Jack off in 100 words :D**

**PhDelicious - Sorry bout that. I know what you mean, character death cliff hangers are an easy way to inject angst into a story, but there is an actual _reason_ for it here, I promise. And it's not just to incite reviews from panicked readers ;)**

**Amaunetx - Lol. Quick enough?**

**froggy0319 - Nope. it wasn't ;)**

**Foenixfyre - :screams and runs from angry mob: I'm writing, I'm writing :throws out chapter to placate angry mob: Thank you and cool name, btw.**

**feb04 - Maybe... ;) And why had I better not :innocent grin:**

**mishy-mo - Oh yeah, there's lots more! I know where it's going (the ending's written) I'm just not quite sure how it's going to get there! Exciting, huh**

**GLE- Thank you! Here's more...**

**SGAngeL - Thank you! Those cliffies suck, don't they :D**

**Ilovesg1 - Thank you! And you'd think right...**

**FooZater - Nah...he's too yummy to off permanently. And thanks ;)**

**Sci Fi Fan Gillian – Thanks**

**Bite Beccy -Hope that helps...**

**Quinndolynn - Lol, I thought you might say that ;) Brightman's turning out quite well, isn't she? I'm quite proud of her :D I think she appeared in one episode, the one where ghost Anubis is floating round the base...**

**xdaigonstarx - More Sam angst to come. Oh yes and whumpage as well...**


	18. Chapter Sixteen

**AN: Once again, thanks for all the reviews. I think I've told you guys that you're all amazing before, but it bears repeating! The good news is that I'm on leave from now until next Tues, so hopefully I should have some spare time to get some more writing done. **

**Which is a very good thing because once Chapter Seventeen is posted tomorrow, then the posted story will have caught up with what's actually been written! So if I don't get writing again ASAP, you're all going to be threatening me with bodily harm for the lack of updates…**

**As it is, I had to add a little more to the last chapter (just a rework of a couple of Brightman's thoughts, so there's no need to go back and reread. Unless you want to, of course ;) ) and then rework some of this chapter right before posting! Plus I want to rewrite some of Chapter Seventeen as well because I'm not happy with it, before I post it tomorrow. **

**:sighs heavily: Best get started then, huh?**

**_o0o_**

**Part Sixteen**

Sam's head was filled with a hideous wrenching sensation and then his presence was simply gone. The sudden feeling of overwhelming loss made her reel and she slid down the wall to sit heavily on the corridor floor, as her legs gave out.

'_No!'_

Her head thudded back against the wall as she gritted her teeth to prevent the anguished howl of loss which had risen unbidden up the back of her throat from leaving her mouth. He was gone.

"Sam?" Daniel's anxious tone made her look up.

She caught his gaze and saw the exact moment when the meaning of the continuous electronic whine emanating from behind the Infirmary door became clear. The loud _'snap'_ of flesh hitting concrete echoed down the corridor, as Daniel smacked the flat of his hand against the wall. Then Teal'c was there, gently pulling him away.

"Daniel Jackson, injuring yourself will not help matters."

"Then what will!"

His voice was rough and she knew it was from holding back tears.

"I do not know."

Even Teal'c sounded at a loss.

Daniel muttered something that sounded suspiciously like an oath although she didn't recognise the language and she heard a rustle of cloth as he moved away, his footsteps heavy with frustration and anger. She heard him kick the wall.

She squeezed her eyes shut against the burn of her own tears that she could feel welling up and settled for rocking her head from side to side in reaction. It felt as if someone had ripped away a piece of herself. Like there was now a gaping hole where something integral to her entire being had once been.

Something that she hadn't even realised had been so important to her, until now, when it was gone. And she could think of nothing else except that she wanted, she needed, it back. She needed him back.

Ironic really. But wasn't that always the way?

She swallowed convulsively, trying to stop the tears from spilling out. It hurt without him. Inside. So much so, that she felt as if she should be bleeding.

Funny how it had never occurred to her before that she would feel this emptiness without him around.

'_Ah come on, Sam-an-tha!' _her inner voice chided. _'You know that's not true. You knew…you're just too damn good at pretendin'.'_

It sounded so eerily like him, although her full name was something she'd only ever heard him speak once many years before, that even that hurt as well.

'_Pretendin' was easier, remember? And hey! We're all for making things simple, right?'_

It didn't seem so easy now.

Daniel's footsteps came back. One, two, three, four. Then away again. One two, three, four. Then back…

She opened her eyes.

He was pacing the corridor, as if hoping it would ease the tension and worry building with every passing second. Arms wrapped around his chest as he had once been wont to do when worried. It was a display of behaviour she hadn't seen from him for several years, not since before he ascended.

'_Like a caged tiger waiting for its noon meal.'_

The phrase the Colonel had once used to describe Daniel's frantic pacing when nervous popped into her head, bringing a lump to her throat. She hastily looked away, trying to find something else to dwell on, other than what she had just lost.

Her gaze fell on her second team mate. In contrast to Daniel's frantic pacing, Teal'c stood outside the entrance to the ward, as if keeping vigil over the ashen-faced Colonel sat next to his feet. His passive face masked the impatience and concern he must surely feel rising within as he listened to the footfalls that echoed in a staccato rhythm back and forth down the corridor.

They all heard the sounds of the defibrillator discharging and Daniel's footfalls came to an abrupt halt as he paused to listen.

Once.

Sam held her breath.

Twice.

Daniel flinched.

Three times.

'_Jack, please…'_

Then finally, came the agonising cease of the heart monitor alarm. Sam blew out the breath she'd been holding. Daniel sagged against the wall next to her. Yet, still no-one spoke. The lack of an alarm was not necessarily good news. They had no way of knowing its meaning. All they could do was wait for someone, anyone, to give them an update on Jack's condition.

Out of nowhere, noise and sensation flared in her head like a burst of static, as if someone had flipped on a radio. The mental overload made her vision white out and her ears ring.

She gasped out loud in response.

Then as quickly as it arrived, it vanished. Except that in its place, it left behind a sense of completeness. Her lips lifted in a small smile she was incapable of stopping.

_**o0o**_

"Sam?"

The puzzled tone in Daniel's voice made her look up. He was frowning at her quizzically.

"What?"

"You were…smiling."

"Oh!" She ducked her head and replied, "it's just…he's alive."

Daniel took a shuddering breath, obviously struggling with his emotions, before rebutting, "We don't know that yet. I mean, just because they stopped—"

He trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. Sam met his gaze steadily.

"I know he is, Daniel."

His eyes slid away to connect with Teal'c's.

"Right. Okay, Sam." He replied carefully.

She shook her head and let the smile slip from her face. His tone said he was humouring her. They had no reason to believe her and she couldn't explain. Not without having to explain much more than she was comfortable with explaining.

If that made any sense at all.

She was reluctant to admit having this strange connection to anyone, at least not before she'd discussed it with the General. It didn't seem…right. She wanted – no, needed - a chance to share this with him before they involved somebody else. A chance to work out what it meant for them, together. Perhaps a chance to finally have that no-holds-barred discussion which had been looming for years. Maybe she wouldn't even have to speak the words out loud.

Unfortunately that was a discussion that was required by its very nature, to be solely between them and no-one else. And the man in question was currently in no fit condition to be discussing anything.

Leaning wearily against the cool, concrete wall, Sam blocked out her surroundings and closed her eyes. Her head was aching again. Except it was no longer an ache, it had turned into a rhythmic pounding, which grew and receded with each beat of her heart, each surge of blood through her veins. Gritting her teeth, she did her best to ignore it. She needed to find that familiar hum which had burst back into glorious life before fading away only minutes ago. Desperately she searched within for any sign that it was returning.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she felt a twinge of something not quite her own and relief flooded through her.

'_Jack…'_

It registered externally as a silent sigh, forbidden as she was by her own personal rules to say his name aloud. She quickly disregarded the dark feeling that came from the notion and concentrated on the vague tingle. It was proof that at least for now, he was alive. Tentatively, she tried to make him respond to her. Thinking hard of the words she wanted him to hear.

'_Jack, can you hear me?'_

Nothing.

Though she received no response, she refused to quit. Her head was pounding heavily now but she pushed it away, focusing instead on the vibration that tickled her nerve endings. Despite her efforts the incessant pounding increased, distracting her as she willed the tingle she could feel to become stronger. She forced it to recede once more, concentrating solely on that elusive tingle.

Gradually, the tingle turned into the slightly annoying buzzing feeling she recognised from before, as she poured all her effort into making it to grow. Unfortunately, the pounding in her head had grown back along with it. Her head felt about ready to split in two.

But beneath it all, his presence was there. He was there. Weak and faint, but there.

And she felt whole once more.

"Sam?" This time Daniel's voice seemed to come from very far away.

A light touch on her knee and the anxious tone to his words broke through her reverie.

She opened her eyes, squinting in the suddenly too bright light, surprised to see that Daniel was in fact crouched down directly in front of her, watching her closely.

"What?" Sam asked softly.

Daniel gave another sideways glance at Teal'c as if seeking reassurance, then raised his hand and pointed shakily towards her face.

"You're – " He paused and swallowed hard before continuing." – you're bleeding."

Now that he'd mentioned it, she could suddenly feel the warm wetness that trickled down towards her upper lip. She slowly lifted her arm. It felt heavier than normal, as if she was fighting against a strong g-force. She touched her fingertips to the wetness, the simple action seemingly ten times more difficult to complete than it should have been.

She lifted her hand away and stared at the red smear coating the tips of her fingers, unable to comprehend it's meaning.

"Dan'l?"

Her word came out slurred, but she was unable to correct herself as the pounding in her head was joined by a loud roaring in her ears which blocked out all other sound.

She could see Daniel talking at her but could no longer hear what he was saying. Then her vision began to tunnel in on itself, vanishing from edges, turning black with little white stars.

The tiny pinprick of sight she had left, showed Daniel quickly reaching towards her, alarm evident on his face.

Then nothing.

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**More AN:** **Virtual Chocolate!Jacks to all those who spotted the whole 'Jack calling Sam by her full name' reference.**

And whilst I'm here, I'd like to recommend another very good story currently being posted. It's by one of my favourite authors - Celeste Tyrol - and it totally blew me away when I read the complete story over on jackfic. It's called 'I Killed Carter' and for all those avoiding it because of the implied character death and subject matter, it has a happy ending, okay?

For those who want to see it, there's hints of S/J in the later chapters and you don't need to watch JAG (I don't) in order to follow the story. So don't let that put you off, because you'll be missing a real gem if you do.

It has Jack whumpage, Sam whumpage and Action!Jack being framed for Sam's murder, racing across the US just ahead of the authorites in order to find out what really happened to her. I guarantee that if you like all those things, then you'll find it a riveting read. I promise. So go read!

**Now that that's out of the way, onto the Review Responses:**

**Xdaigonstarx – Thank you! Don't go getting too used to the lack of cliffhangers tho…**

**Bite Beccy – Ooo, cookie:grabs cookie and runs off to make a nice big cup of coffee to dunk it in: Mmm… **

**Amaunetx - :eyes meat cleaver half-hidden behind Amaunetx's back with suspicion: I figure she'll have got fed up with fixing SG-1's boo-boos by then…**

**:pokes Lexa too. Just for the fun of it:**

**froggy0319 – Now there's a Freudian slip! I wish Brightman was Janet too… but she'd already gone by the time this went AU. But hey, we still have Jacob :D I don't think anyone reading this fic ever wants to lose Jack, but I am resigned to the lack of Jack in Season nine. End of the day, RDA wants to spend more time with his kid. I can't think of any better reason to call it quits, so good for him. And there's always fanfic ;)**

**stargate-fan & Sci Fi Fan Gillian – Thank you!**

**Shetlandlace – Yes we do, as you've probably just read, I hope you liked it! My back story is that Janet was Brightman's 'mentor' if you will, so if there are similiarities, that's why. Plus I miss not being able to write Janet in this fic and this is my way around it. ;) Although I should clarify that I didn't start out with that intention, it just kind of happened. **

**samcarter2 – Thank you for reviewing! And yes, they will figure out what's causing it. Fairly soon. I think :D What they will then do about it is a different matter entirely!**

**Gater101 – Why thank you, Batman ;)**

**Quinndolynn - :nods head: Absolutely. I would never do a thing like that. No really, I wouldn't :coughs: And no, he's not. At least, not exactly…**

**Matt1969 – Smartypants:P Look who's been paying attention ;) And that's all I'm saying…**

**GLE – Lol, impatient much? Glad you're enjoying it.**

**Ilovesg1 – Hope that answered your question. :listens for scream as Ilovesg1 reaches end of chapter: Ah, there we go. I'll take that as a yes, then…**

**SGAngeL – Thank you. And don't forget poor Sam too :D**

**feb04 – Hey, you know what they say, _'no pain, no gain!'_ I'm making you all suffer so that you enjoy the resolution more :insert manic laughter here: It's got nothing to do with enjoying winding up my readers. Honest. ;) As for my poor attacked innocence, I think my elbow may be innocent. :elbows feb04 in the ribs: 'kay, maybe not then….**

**mishy-mo – :blushes: Thanks hon! And remember to breathe, I wouldn't want you passing out from all the excitement!**

**justme( ) – :gets out resus paddles in case justme( ) needs them: But, but, Jack's not dead, there's no evil happenings at the end of the chapter…how could it possibly be a cliffhanger? ;)**


	19. Chapter Seventeen

**Author's Notes: So here it is finally, the next part! I apologise for leaving you all hanging… all I'm gonna say is GRAPHICS CARD**

**:kicks useless piece of circuit board into touch:**

**My own fault really, so I have no excuse. I've known it's been going for a while now, but didn't want to replace it because I've been meaning to get a new motherboard for a couple of months as well. Basically I was too dang lazy to change it, knowing I'd only have to swap it _again_ when I got my new board… **

**Guess it got tired of me procrastinating ;)**

**Enjoy.**

_**o0o**_

**Part Seventeen**

She didn't even make it out of the door.

Anna Brightman was half way across the infirmary, having stopped to receive an update on one of the other more seriously injured personnel, when her eventual destination was thrown back on its hinges and SG-1 entered.

Her heart sank to her toes as she took in the sight of the limp blonde-haired form held securely in the arms of the big Jaffa, and the concerned expression of the man by his side.

"Crap." She muttered vehemently. "Now what?"

She lifted her arm and waved it vigorously to gain their attention.

"Teal'c!"

Without missing a beat, he swerved to the right and began walking swiftly in her direction; Daniel Jackson almost running at his side in order to keep up with his long strides.

"Colonel Carter requires medical attention." He announced bluntly as they reached her side.

The woman lying in his arms looked small and fragile next to his bulk and Brightman gave a resigned sigh. Seemed like nothing was going their way, today. Or hers.

"This way, Teal'c."

Quickly scanning the area, she made her decision and led them to one of the few empty beds left in the infirmary. She had been attempting to keep the area where the General was receiving treatment clear of personnel, but in this case she could make an exception. In fact, knowing the strong bonds they had with the General, it was probably the best course of action.

Teal'c carefully laid his CO on the bed, then stepped back enough to allow Brightman room to work, but no further. Daniel immediately crowded into the space he had left, anxiety evident on his face as he tried to get as close to the unconscious Colonel as possible.

Anna stumbled as she found the path to her patient blocked by roughly six foot something of anxious archaeologist. One large hand gripped her elbow and steadied her, whilst the other reached out and grabbed the collar of the human obstacle in front of her. A startled yip escaped Daniel as he found himself being pulled backwards.

"You are in the way, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c stated firmly.

Anna bit back the snappish comment that had been on the tip of her tongue, settling instead for a calm and collected, "Thank you, Teal'c."

Daniel threw her a sheepish look and took another step back. "Ah, sorry."

"It's okay, Daniel." She replied. After everything that had been thrown at them in the past couple of hours, she could understand.

Anna stepped up to the bed and gave the woman lying there a clinical once over. She noted the trickle of blood from her nose, the shallow breathing and the pale clamminess of her skin.

Whipping out her stethoscope once more - she was beginning to feel like a yo-yo with the constant on-again, off-again - she checked the Colonel's heartbeat. Rapid, but strong. Out came the pen-light. Lifting each eyelid in turn, she was relieved to see that the pupils proved responsive. That was a good sign.

Tucking the penlight away, she turned back to the men hovering protectively around the bed.

"What happened?"

Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose and folded his arms.

"Ah, we were in the corridor, because…because of Jack. Sam sat down, when uh, when Jack…" He faltered, shooting a quick glance at the closed curtains around the next bed before looking askance at Brightman.

Anna stayed silent, not volunteering any information. She needed him to be focusing on Sam Carter right now, not the condition of his other friend. The General he couldn't help. Whereas for the Colonel, there was a good chance that he could do something.

When she remained less than forthcoming, Daniel made an obvious effort to drag himself back on track.

"Anyway, she, um, she just leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. But there was nothing wrong with her. I mean obviously she was upset, we were all upset and she looked tired…but not hurt. Then…she just started, you know - "

He waved his hand around for emphasis. " - bleeding."

Anna nodded her head. "I see."

Unfortunately it didn't really help her.

"She appeared to have a headache, Doctor Brightman."

Daniel's eyes widened and his head whipped round as he stared at his friend.

"She did?"

Teal'c inclined his head. "Indeed."

"Oh. I…sorry. I didn't spot that."

He looked so guilty for not realising, that Anna felt compelled to squeeze his shoulder gently in reassurance.

"Don't worry about it, Daniel. You can't be expected to notice everything."

Anna looked back at the woman on the bed, trying to marshal the tired thoughts swirling around in her head into some semblance of order. Okay, so she had a headache. That was something. Possible cranial trauma could explain the bleed…but then she'd expect her pupils to be blown. Something wasn't adding up here. And it was frustrating because precisely what that something was, she simply couldn't seem to work out.

_**o0o**_

Looking around, Anna stepped back from the bed and reached out, catching the nurse from earlier by the elbow as she hurried past.

"Mary…I'm sorry," she apologised. The poor woman looked as run off her feet as Anna herself felt. "I want a CAT scan done on Colonel Carter as soon as possible, please - can you make the necessary arrangements?"

Mary gave a weary nod of her head. "Of course, ma'am."

"Thank you."

She tried to imbue the two simple words with all the gratitude she felt. She'd be putting more than one member of her staff up for a commendation once this was all over.

Anna let her go and turned back to the waiting men, determined to figure this thing out. Colonel Carter had looked fine when she'd spoken to her half an hour ago.

But then so had the General.

She blew out a breath. "Alright. I need you to tell me if there was anything that happened on the planet which could explain this? Was Colonel Carter hit by weapons fire at all? Did she take any blows to the head? Anything you think might shed some light on exactly what's happening here."

She watched them expectantly. Daniel frowned as he recalled the events of earlier that day.

"No, I don't think so…Perry was the one who was hit."

He shuddered. "He pushed Sam out of the way. It was close, but I don't think she was hit. She seemed okay. Teal'c?"

He turned to his friend for confirmation.

"I concur. Colonel Carter displayed no signs of being hit by Super Soldier fire."

Teal'c paused. "However…"

Anna held her breath. Here it came. Somehow she knew, this was it.

"I believe her chest was paining her shortly before we left."

Anna's head snapped up at his words. "Her chest?"

Not another one! It was too much of a coincidence…

The nasty suspicion that perhaps the Colonel's symptoms emulated those of the General, clamoured to be heard at the back of her head. God, she hoped not! One patient with chest problems today was more than enough.

"Yeah, that's right!" Daniel was nodding his head enthusiastically. "She brushed it off, claimed it was nothing. I forgot all about it."

Anna took a deep breath, fighting the urge to tell him to get to the point already. No, that wasn't fair. This whole mess was without a doubt a whole lot harder on him than it was on her.

"What was wrong with her chest, Daniel?"

"She went to stand up, just as we were about to leave. Then she cried out and collapsed to the ground. She said it felt like she'd been hit…but there was no sign of any injury. She was fine after that. We figured maybe she'd pulled a muscle or something."

Anna nodded thoughtfully, pulling the stethoscope off her neck and placing the earpieces in place. She winced slightly as her ears protested their soreness at the day's heavy usage. Damn thing.

Sliding the stethoscope under the Colonel's t-shirt she listened carefully - strong heartbeat. Absently she noted it had slowed down since her last exam, a good sign. No sound of anything out of the ordinary.

Well, whatever her problem was, it wasn't originating from here. Thank goodness for small favours. But she'd schedule a chest scan just to be sure.

Removing her stethoscope, she eyed the closed curtains around the end bed.

Her brow furrowed as she remembered the Colonel's reaction to the General's collapse. Perhaps the Colonel's symptoms were some kind of sympathetic reaction? But no…how could she have known his condition back on the planet?

Daniel's voice snapped her attention back to the present.

"Does that help?" He was asking hopefully.

She gave him a small smile. "It might."

Anna rubbed her forehead. There was no way she could possibly have known. She was looking for links where there were none. Seeing patterns where they didn't exist.

Either because she was so desperate to find an answer, to help in some way, that she was grasping at anything which suggested a correlation between their conditions. Or because she was so tired that it made even the most fantastical theory seem plausible.

It was mere coincidence, she told herself firmly. Nothing more.

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**More AN: **Yeah, yeah, I know. This chap was mostly filler :shrugs: But hey, at least I didn't leave you with another cliff-hanger! More to come. Next update will probably be on Wed…barring any more technical mishaps.

**Review Responses:**

**ChristinaS –** All 16 chapters in one go! You really were avoiding your math lab, weren't you? Mind you I'd probably be doing the same thing in your position ;) Hope this wasn't too long a wait for you. Leave was great and you're close – not mil but civil service. Would've been mil, except for the dodgy knees so… :shrug:

As for your questions, depends who wins the argument between me and cece on the first one and yes to the second… I tossed around the idea of tormenting Pete with this, but really it'd be too much like kicking a puppy ;) Anyway, glad you're finding it so enjoyable!

**Phoenix 29A –** Oops. :passes Phoenix some bandages to deal with the damage from spending so long on pins and needles: Sorry for the wait, hon! Hope you're still enjoying it…

**Stargate-fan & Sci Fi Fan Gillian –** Here's the obligatory thank you, as always :D

**Sarah –** Thank you! That's good to hear! And like I said to Christina, it depends who wins the argument ;)

**Amaunetx -** :shuffles away from the magically reappearing cleaver: I updated! Honest :D

**SGAngel –** Thank you, glad you liked it! And no, not everybody…I think the second airman from the left is going to be just fine ;) And another cliffhanger? No, it was nothing of the sort :adjusts halo:

**Quinndolynn – **Hee! Yeah, I've read many fics where the 'connection' thing is played solely for laughs with no repercussions. I wanted to do a slightly different take on it. So is it working?

**Mallovorwen –** :looks guiltily at calendar: Um, guess Im too late for that sugary confection, huh? Ah well, can't blame a girl for trying :D Hope the college essay was well received…

**PhDelicious –** Why thank you! They're just as much fun to write, believe me ;)

**Justme – **:sits at pc laughing: Yeah you're right! I did have more written that wasn't posted…but now you've pretty much got everything. But feel free to grovel for more anyway ;)

**Froggy0319 –** Thank you. And you're more than welcome!

**Mishy –** Glad to see you're taking my advice ;)

**Bite Beccy –** No! Don't let the men in white coats take you away! I need to have someone to share my insanity with…here, have a cookie and don't worry about it :D

**Feb04 -** :chants to self: happy endings, happy endings, happy endings… Right. Think I can remember that, now…

**Xdaigonstarx -** :looks at daigonstar worriedly: Erm, cookie at all?

:sidles carefully away as daigonstar is distracted by sugary confection:


	20. Chapter Eighteen

Author's Notes: This chapter is a continuation of the infirmary scene. Originally, it was all one chapter, but it grew too big to keep together as Brightman wouldn't shut up, lol! So I had to split it.

I apologise in advance for more filler, although I hope it might make things a little clearer as to what's going on. I promise, it doesn't have a cliff-hanger ending (as such ;) ) and the next chapter is a doozy! Which should be out some time next week. Hopefully…

On with the story.

_**o0o**_

Part Eighteen 

"Excuse me, Doctor Brightman?"

The sound of her name being called pulled her immediately out of her thoughts. She turned towards the voice in an automatic reaction to find Lt. Rush waiting patiently for her attention.

"What is it, Mary?"

"Ma'am, you asked to be notified when Doctor Warner was ready to begin."

Anna frowned. Dammit. Ideally, she wanted to sit in on the General's surgery to ensure everything went okay but now she also had Colonel Carter to consider…

Reluctantly she realised she'd have to leave the General in Eric's more than capable hands.

She wasn't worried, the man was a fine surgeon and would probably operate – pardon the pun – better without her hovering over his shoulder. Still…she wanted to be there. At least for now though, Sam Carter had to be her main concern.

The General wouldn't want it any other way.

"Thank you, Mary. Check with Captain Watson…I want the General in the OR as soon as he's prepped. Oh, and I'd like to include a chest x-ray for Colonel Carter in addition to her CAT scan, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mary hurried off, heading towards the closed curtains at the end of the infirmary.

Definitely worthy of a commendation, Anna decided. Turning back around, she began answering Daniel's question before it even left his mouth.

"I'm sending Colonel Carter for a CAT scan to check for cranial trauma. I also want her to undergo an x-ray, to give us a better idea of what's going on with her chest."

Daniel gave her a shocked look. "You mean you don't know?"

Anna sighed. _'Do I look like a psychic to you?'_

People always expected her to know everything. They seemed to conveniently forget that even Janet hadn't been able to do the impossible.

Fortunately for all of them, by the time the words left her mouth, her brain had processed them into the less controversial:

"Not for certain, no. That's why I've ordered the scans. They should help me determine what caused Colonel Carter's blackout and ascertain what, if any, damage was caused by it."

Sadly, she had a niggling little voice in the back of head that was currently chanting, _'you won't find anything! You won't find anything!'_ She couldn't say precisely why she had this belief, but it was there all the same. And it wasn't going away.

"She's going to be okay though, isn't she?" Blue eyes begged her for an affirmative.

Anna hesitated. She wanted to reassure them, particularly with the General already being in bad shape. On the other hand, she despised the practise of telling people what they wanted to hear simply for the sake of avoiding a difficult issue. Most people were adult enough to understand what was happening without being mollycoddled.

"I'm sorry Doctor Jackson, but I don't want to make a prognosis without seeing the test results. Once we get the results back and I've completed my analysis, I'll be in a better position to answer your question, but we won't know for sure until then."

Daniel gave a dejected sigh, his shoulders slumping.

Anna took pity on him. "If it helps at all Daniel, I'm not overly concerned - "

She broke off as a sudden commotion behind them, alerted her that they were moving the General.

_**o0o**_

Daniel's eyes widened, as his head whipped round and he took in the new scene in shock.

"Where are they taking Jack?"

"Surgery." Anna replied shortly.

"What happened?"

She sighed again, wearily rubbing her hand across her eyes and attempted to piece together an explanation. Her well-thought out words of reassurance regarding the General's condition, had been thrown out of the window with the Colonel's collapse and their subsequent unexpected entrance.

"Honestly? I'm quite not sure there, either."

She held up a hand to forestall the questions she just knew he was gearing up to ask.

"He's stable for now, but we don't know for how long. He's bleeding internally, Daniel. We don't know how badly and he's going to require surgery to get it fixed. Before it creates more problems."

"More problems?"

His tone held a distinct note of sarcasm and she was simply too. Damn. Tired. to be anything other than blunt with him.

"Before it stops his heart. Again."

She didn't add that if it did, then odds of him surviving any surgery fell from slim to pretty much non-existent.

Daniel blanched.

"Oh." He said quietly.

She immediately felt like a heel. He didn't deserve that. She mentally cursed the exhaustion which seemed to have turned her bedside manner into something else that was slim to non-existent.

"I'm sorry Daniel, that wasn't fair."

Blue eyes met hers again, this time in understanding. "No, that's okay. It's me who should be apologising."

He gestured at her and Anna looked down at herself. Grimacing as she noticed the blood spatters from who knew how many patients covering her coat, for the first time.

Give her a hatchet and she'd pass for a butcher.

"The past couple of hours can't have been easy and the last thing you need is me ranting at you about things you can't change. I know you're doing the best you can."

Anna fought the blush that was rising. He really could be quite sweet when he tried. Of course that was just the fatigue and adrenaline talking. Give it a few hours and once she'd been able to get some rest, she'd be back to wanting to shove him head first through the gate again.

The man seemed to have an uncanny knack of spending more time in the Infirmary than anyone else, barring the General, of course. This hadn't been a problem, once upon a time. However, ever since they'd lost Janet, his behaviour whenever he was required to spend an extended time in the Infirmary, made the General look like a model patient. And that was saying something.

She knew why his behaviour had changed. After all, how could he be expected to act any different when there were reminders of her former mentor every where they looked? It had been hard for all of them in the months immediately following her…death.

Heck, she still looked up now when an emergency came in, expecting to see her friend taking charge in her usual inimitable fashion. But life went on and for those who worked in her shadow it had to do so quicker than for most.

The Infirmary was a section that was always required to be functioning, however difficult the circumstances. So whilst she was more than sympathetic, there were days when she simply wanted nothing more than to dropkick his cute little butt out of her Infirmary and tell him never to darken her door again.

She motioned them to stand to one side as the crew wheeling the General out for surgery went past. She heard Daniel suck in a ragged breath as he caught sight of his friend's wan features.

The sound echoed loudly in the sudden eerie silence which pervaded the area. Looking around, she saw that the entire Infirmary had virtually ground to a halt as everyone paused to watch the General be taken into the OR. If the man ever had any doubt of his importance to these people, then the looks of anxiety on the faces scattered throughout the room would soon put paid to it.

She just wished he was awake to see it, regardless of the embarrassment that she knew it would cause him. Of course, if he was awake, then there would be no need for such a display in the first place…

"God, Jack!" Daniel murmured bleakly. "You can't even manage to keep out of trouble when you don't go through the gate, can you?"

She felt Teal'c's steady presence at her side shift as he lent Daniel his support.

"O'Neill will not give in without a fight, Daniel Jackson. He is a survivor."

"Yeah," Daniel agreed, sounding somewhat sad. "He shouldn't have to be, though."

Anna decided silently that she couldn't have agreed more.

_**o0o**_

TBC… 

**Review Responses:**

**Bite Beccy – **Lol. Good for you!

**stargate-fan & Sci Fi Fan Gillian – **Thank you!

**SGAngeL – **Thank you! Some Jack angst in the next chap…then there'll be a little S/J after that ;)

**Mkiara – **Hi there, welcome to the story! Glad you're enjoying it.**  
**

**froggy0319 – **Why, thank you… And I'm sure Sam'll be fine : prods muse – you hear me:

**Catnip070 – **Lol! I'm sure she'll find a box cutter in a couple of chapters…

**Mallovorwen – **Ooo, 'nother cookie:grabs and runs off: Oh yeah…thank you! ;) For my next choice I think I'll have :thinks hard: mmm, cherry pie!

**Xdaigonstarx – **Nope, not a tumour and thank you. Btw, don't worry about the cookie, I've had caffeine highs far too often to be complaining ;)  
**  
Quinndolynn – **Good :D And yeah, she was a bit lame in the show, so I thought I'd change that!

**Amaunetx – **I KNOW! Shocker, huh?**  
**

**Ilovesg1 – **Well, let's see how it goes, there might be some in later chapters ;) And I don't think he deserves to be kicked…he can't help being a muppet. So long as he leaves, is good enough for me:D

**feb04 – **Who says it has to be fixed:D And I liked that scene too! It was fun to write ;)


	21. Chapter Nineteen

**Author's Notes:** Okay. So. It may seem like I've missed a chapter out when you begin reading this part…but I assure you this isn't the case. It may be a little confusing at first, but please believe me when I say that there is a good reason why I'm doing things this way ;) I'm not going to explain what's going on in this chap unless anyone truly, honestly, does. Not. Get. It. Which I don't think will happen as you all seem to be intelligent readers who can figure out what's going on without being spoon-fed by the author. Feel free to let me know what you think you've figured out, in your reviews (if you leave one). And now, on with the story… 

_**o0o**_

Part Nineteen 

Jack spun round on his heel, staring about him in confusion.

" - the hell?"

He was stood in the middle of the Infirmary. The very busy Infirmary. Jack frowned.

He was sure he'd just been somewhere else...

He stepped back quickly in automatic reaction as an orderly barrelled towards him. The man didn't slow down as he shot past, nearly taking Jack's toes with him.

"You're welcome!" Jack called after him.

The man ignored him, even the sarcasm dripping from his words not enough to garner a response. Whatever was going on was big, that much was obvious.

The frown on his face grew stronger as he struggled to remember. He felt as if he should know what was happening. Scratch that, he knew that he knew what was happening… He just couldn't quite remember for some reason.

The frown etched itself deeper into his brow as he fought to recall his most recent actions. Where had he been? More importantly, what had he been doing?

His mind was a blank.

He remembered SG-6 coming in hot from their mission to P2J 778…Jacob! They'd seen Jacob there…Carter! She'd been upset with him because he refused to send a retrieval team. She'd created some new doohickey to give them an advantage…

He'd authorised the rescue mission…Super Grenades…Super Soldier! It had come through the gate. They hadn't closed the iris in time…damn thing was shooting up his base! He'd taken it out...

Pain.

Blackness.

Waking up in the Infirmary.

Brightman telling him that Willis had saved his life. That he'd been injured... It couldn't have been that badly, not if he was standing here. Carter again. He'd upset her. Again. Seemed to be happening a lot recently…shouting. She was leaving! It hurt again… A lot. She was hurting too…

Nothing.

Until out of nowhere, he found himself standing in the middle of the Infirmary.

The knowledge was there, he could feel it. It flickered in the back of his head, just out of reach beneath the surface of his thoughts. Like the old cliché, it was on the tip of his tongue. Except he didn't know what it was exactly, that he was forgetting.

He shivered, feeling cold all of a sudden.

He was missing something. Something big. Something bad. He knew it.

And it scared him.

The Infirmary door swung open with a bang and Teal'c strode in, a wide-eyed Daniel by his side. Jack's eyes were drawn unerringly to the still form held securely in the big man's arms. He drew in a horrified breath, his heart giving an extra heavy thump as he recognised the tousled mop of blonde hair.

His own worries vanished like smoke at the sight and he ran forward without another thought.

"Carter!"

"Teal'c!"

The CMO's voice rang through the Infirmary in conjunction with his cry and Teal'c changed his direction. Turning away from Jack and heading towards her, Daniel scurrying along rapidly next to him. Jack followed, lengthening his stride in order to keep up.

He caught up to them just as they reached the doc, Teal'c already speaking in earnest to her.

"Colonel Carter requires medical attention."

Jack got his first good look at her and couldn't help but suck in another deep breath in reaction.

"Jesus!" He muttered.

She looked like death warmed over. Her face was ghost-white, making the trickle of bright red blood, which ran out of her nose and across her cheek, stand out starkly against it.

"This way, Teal'c." Brightman said sharply, before turning and leading the way towards an empty bed.

"What the hell happened?" Jack demanded as he fell into step behind her, beside his friend.

Teal'c ignored him, his concentration solely on the unconscious woman who was held so securely his arms. Jack looked ahead to where Brightman was leading them.

She was heading to an empty bed next to a curtained off area at the end of the infirmary. He frowned as he recognised it.

That was where his bed had been situated when he'd woken up in the infirmary for the first time. He was certain of it. But he wasn't there. Obviously. Since he was now here.

So who was behind the curtain?

_**o0o**_

The question was pushed to the back of his mind with all the others, as they reached the bed that the doc was indicating and Teal'c gently laid his fragile burden down, before stepping back. Jack followed, stepping to the side and automatically moving out of the doc's way.

He'd been at the side of an injured colleague far too often in the past, not to know when to stay the hell out of the way. However much he wanted otherwise.

The doc moved forward only to stumble as Daniel stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

Jack growled in frustration. "F'cryin' out loud Daniel, get out of the damn way!"

Teal'c reached out and pulled Daniel back, saving Jack having to do the job himself.

Despite his worry over Carter's condition, Jack couldn't help but grin at Daniel's startled exclamation as he was jerked backwards.

"Thanks, T."

"You are in the way, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c told him sternly.

Brightman added her own gratitude with an unruffled, "Thank you, Teal'c."

Teal'c inclined his head in acknowledgement of their thanks and Daniel took another step back. Squeezing in between the two of them next to Teal'c and forcing Jack into an inelegant hop-step combination in order avoid him.

Jack glared at him. "Do you mind?"

Daniel had the grace to look sheepish. "Ah, sorry."

"Yeah, you will be." Jack muttered as he shifted further to the left, giving his friend more room.

"It's okay, Daniel." Brightman told him, obviously assuming his apology had been generically aimed at both of them.

Jack snorted softly, but Daniel didn't rise to the bait, his eyes remaining riveted on the unmoving woman on the bed. Jack turned his attention back to her.

'God, Carter…' 

The unreasoning fear, that mindless panic which raised it's head every time she was injured was making it's presence felt once more. He balled his hands as he stared at her, helplessly. Clenching his fists as he fought the urge to reach and touch her, to make sure that she was still there, still with him. It wasn't his place to do so. Or even his right. However much he wished…

He forced the thought away and simply stood there. Jaw set with the effort of maintaining his composure and watched silently as the doc carried out her checks.

After several tense minutes where nobody spoke, the doc finally put away her penlight and turned back to them.

What happened?" She asked brusquely.

"That's what I'd like to know." Jack muttered.

He turned to the man he usually received his explanations from when Carter wasn't around to simplify things for him. His chest gave a slight twinge for some unknown reason as he shifted his stance.

"Daniel?"

Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose and folded his arms.

"Ah, we were in the corridor, because…because of Jack. Sam sat down, when uh, when Jack…"

He faltered, casting a quick look that Jack almost missed at the closed curtains around the next bed, before looking back at Brightman.

Jack stiffened, the feeling of unease from when he'd first found himself on his feet in the middle of the infirmary with no clue as to how he'd got there, running through him once more.

Shit. Was he responsible for whatever happened to Carter?

The twinge in his chest turned into a dull ache.

"When I what, Daniel?" He asked sharply.

Daniel ignored him, like he'd been doing – like they'd all pretty much been doing, now that he thought about it – since they'd first entered the infirmary.

His heart sank. God! Whatever he'd done had to be bad to get this kind of reaction, to be pushed out like this… Dammit! Why couldn't he remember?

"Anyway, she, um, she just leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. But there was nothing wrong with her. I mean obviously she was upset, we were all upset and she looked tired…but not hurt. Then…she just started, you know - "

He waved his hand around for emphasis. " - bleeding."

Jack flinched at his words, absently rubbing his chest to try and ease it's throbbing. He didn't want to believe he was responsible for doing this. Not to her. Not to Carter. But something was seriously wrong here. And given Daniel's explanation, what else could it be?

As Daniel continued to talk, the thought that his actions were the reason behind Carter's current state grew and solidified in his mind, transforming from a tiny niggle into full-blown suspicion. No! He couldn't believe it.

He wouldn't hurt Carter! He just wouldn't, unless…

He felt ill.

It wasn't him.

His head whipped around and he stared hard at Brightman.

"Doc! Did you run an MRI on me?"

The doc nodded her head slowly in understanding.

"I see." She said thoughtfully.

So did he.

Jack staggered, reeling in revulsion at the thought.

'_Oh god, no! Not again…'_

He'd had one of those, those things in him!

He couldn't even bring himself to think of their name.

'_Goa'uld.' _His subconscious whispered. _'Snake. Parasite.'_

He felt like throwing up.

He remembered feeling someone else's thoughts…feelings…that's what it had to be!

Why else would he be unable to remember what had happened? How else could he recovered so fast? From flat on his back feeling like crap one minute, to standing on his own two feet the next?

It simply didn't happen. Unless you had help.

And somehow…

Somehow, they'd all missed it.

His mind flashed back to her visit in the infirmary, virtually the last thing he could remember. Her turning to leave, him calling her back… Burning pain…blackness closing in. A vague vision of Carter staring at him in horror…before she too doubled over in agony and everything faded out.

A strangled sound of anguish pushed it's way out of his throat despite his best efforts.

Even worse, he'd transferred it to Carter!

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Review Responses:**

**Amaunetx –** YEAH :joins in immature dance: Is _not_ a cliffhanger :P Want me to prove it? ;)

And yes…ship soon. I promise :D

**froggy0319 –** Keep hanging on! It'll be worth the sore arms :D

**Aleja21( ) –** Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. And with that kind of praise I think I can forgive you for not reviewing the prequel ;) As for your side note, it's a good thought! That's exactly what's happening, so help yourself to a virtual cookie for figuring it out!

**kahless21 –** Thank you! I fully intend to.

**ChRsTiNe17 –** Good! The more people I can suck into my little AU world the better :insert evil laugh here:

**Shetlandlace -** :blushes: Thank you so much! I'm glad my story can provide a little stress-free haven for you, hon :D

**sarah( ) –** Thank you! And I'm taking the fifth on the rest ;)

**xdaigonstarx –** Thank you! There's a reason for that, as you can see below…

**PhDelicious –** Thank you. I prefer writing Sam and Jack too, which is why I made a conscious effort to include other characters in this fic. It's far too easy to slip into SJ mode and ignore everyone else ;) And which character 'death' cliffie would that be then:polishes halo:

**feb04 –** Um yeah…that's why I knocked both of them out! Lol, just call me a coward :D But you do get jacksam dream sequence interaction to make up for it, so I expect to be forgiven!

**Ilovesg1 –** Thank you. Brightman's going to disappear for a couple of chapters now, but she'll be back, I promise!

**Sci Fi Fan Gillian –** Thank you.

**Mallovorwen – **Woohoo for cherry pie! And yeah, Jack's had _almost _enough whumping for this fic. Definitely ;)

**SGAngeL -** :sidesteps angry mob:D

**Quinndolynn - **The silent infirmary is one of my favourite bits in this chap. Plus it was fun imagining Jack's reaction! More on that next chap…

And 'Danna' shippiness! Lol, I love it! You know I honestly hadn't intended for that to happen :scowls at unco-operative characters with minds of their own:

I don't even know where that line came from, I certainly didn't have it in mind when I wrote that section. In fact, it didn't even _occur_ to me how it might read until I went back and looked it over, but I figured I'd leave it in anyway, as I didn't think anyone would pick up on it. I forgot how eagle-eyed shippers can be :D

**kay13kl –** Hey there, stargatefan! Thank you. I love getting feedback, but you guys are the ones who have taken the time to sent it in the first place, so it seems only fair to let you know how very much I appreciate it.

**Erisinia –** I'm glad Sam and Jack being in pain makes you so happy :D Not too sure the characters are overly impressed tho… ;)

And yeah, that's it exactly. I feel sorry for her cos she's trying so hard but she'll always be known as 'the replacement' as everyone misses 'the small woman'. :sniffs: On teh other hand, she does seem to have created a larger role for herself in this fic than she had in the entirety of Season 8, so it doesn't really matter. Good job this is an AU, I guess!


	22. Chapter Twenty

Author's Notes: The bad news is that I've been covering work for another colleague who is on leave since May Day, hence no updates. Since it means working 14 hour days, I've not seen any part of my house except for the path from my front door to my bed and back for the past two weeks, lol! Just don't rat me out to the Working Time Directive folk or there's no way I'll be able to go on holidaythis year _and_ attend SG10 in Nov as well… 

The good news is today's my last day doing two jobs at once. Yay! On the other hand, spending 5 hours an evening sitting lifeguarding by the side of a generally empty pool has given me plenty of time to do some writing. :hugs laptop and spare battery: Even if I haven't been able to upload it ;)

So, enjoy!

_**o0o**_

**Part Twenty**

Teal'c confirmed his thoughts with his next words.

"She appeared to have a headache, Doctor Brightman."

"Oh god." Jack moaned softly, fighting the urge to curl over in an effort to ease his internal agony. The guilt was so strong it was almost a physical pain, centred in his chest.

Thankfully, Daniel and Brightman seemed far too concerned with Teal'c's words to notice his inner turmoil and he carefully straightened as it eased off.

"She did?" Daniel asked, looking shocked.

Teal'c inclined his head. "Indeed."

"Oh. I…sorry. I didn't spot that."

"Don't worry about it, Daniel." Brightman told him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "You can't be expected to notice everything."

To those who knew him, Daniel's look clearly said that he didn't believe her.

"She's right, Daniel." Jack said quietly. "You couldn't have known."

None of them could, except for him.

Brightman stepped back and grabbed a passing nurse by the elbow.

"Mary…I'm sorry," she apologised. "I want a CAT scan done on Colonel Carter as soon as possible, please - can you make the necessary arrangements?"

Jack's shoulders sagged as his mind conjured up an image of what they would find, despite his best efforts to stop it happening. The reason for this complete FUBAR – and there really was no other way to describe the how this day was going so far - sprang to the forefront again.

Aw, crud. What the hell was he supposed to tell Jacob?

The nurse – Mary - nodded tiredly, as if her head was too heavy for her shoulders. He knew precisely how she felt.

"Of course, ma'am."

"Thank you."

Brightman turned back to them and blew out a breath in response, shaking her head slightly.

"Alright. I need you to tell me if there was anything that happened on the planet which could explain this? Was Colonel Carter hit by weapons fire at all? Did she take any blows to the head? Anything you think might shed some light on exactly what's happening here."

Huh? Jack frowned. Didn't they know 'just what' was happening here? They had just decided it was a snake…hadn't they?

He was starting to feel as if he was constantly several minutes behind on this conversation. Either that or he was missing bits and simply not noticing. Wouldn't be the first time. It wasn't however, nearly half as much fun when it wasn't a deliberate choice.

Not to mention the old feeling that he was missing something vital was back again.

"So…not a goa'uld?"

"No, I don't think so…" Daniel replied.

Relief flooded through him. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. What was the likelihood that after eight years fighting snakeheads, they'd miss something as important as a snake in the head? A snake in the head of the guy in charge, no less?

Highly unlikely. He had way more faith in the people under his command than he was currently showing them. Shame on him.

'_Perhaps you simply don't want to believe it's true?'_ His conscience chided.

Jack gave a mental shrug. Whatever.

He couldn't say for definite what had happened. He had no memory of it. Hell, for all he knew there was a good chance that he was completely overreacting and jumping to conclusions. God, he hoped so. The thought of facing Jacob if that wasn't the case was more than enough to scare the bejeezuz out of him.

Plus the doc certainly didn't seem to be too worried about the possibility and more importantly neither did Daniel or Teal'c. If they weren't concerned then he wasn't going to sweat it either.

Besides, the CAT scan would tell them. one way or the other. Until then, until he knew for certain, he'd choose to believe there was another reason. If only because the thought that he'd done this to Carter made him sick to his stomach. Or possibly his chest if the persistent nagging ache was anything to go by.

Belatedly, he realised Daniel was talking again.

"Perry was the one who was hit."

Perry? SG-8's medic, supplied the part of his brain which dealt with personnel movements. Ah, crap. His heart sank. Another good man lost. His heart sank even further. Another _'I'm sorry to inform you'_ letter to write. Of all the reasons to hate his new job, that one ranked top of the list.

Daniel shuddered. "He pushed Sam out of the way. It was close, but I don't think she was hit. She seemed okay. Teal'c?"

He turned to the big man for confirmation.

"I concur. Colonel Carter displayed no signs of being hit by Super Soldier fire."

Teal'c paused. "However…"

"I believe her chest was paining her shortly before we left."

Jack's head shot up.

"Her chest?"

_**o0o**_

Jack once again found himself speaking the words in concurrence with the doc, his fingers stilling where they rubbed the ache just below his collar bone. He looked down at his hand, remembering her reaction when he admitted to her how much it hurt.

_Doubling over in pain. _

_Gasping for breath._

Maybe…

Nah.

He lowered his hand quickly, just in case anyone else noticed. Didn't want to remind them of his injury, they might stick him back in a bed again. How would he help Carter, then?

"Yeah, that's right!"

He looked up, pleased at Daniel's vehement agreement, only to realise Daniel wasn't even talking to him.

"She brushed it off, claimed it was nothing. I forgot all about it!"

Jack sighed. Served him right for not paying attention.

He watched the doc take a deep breath, looking for all the world like she was counting to ten in an effort to control her temper.

"What was wrong with her chest, Daniel?"

"She went to stand up, just as we were about to leave. Then she cried out and collapsed to the ground."

Jack winced, the cramp which always tied his stomach in knots whenever Carter got herself injured making his gut clench. Yeesh.

'Don't do things by halves do ya, Carter?' 

"She said it felt like she'd been hit…but there was no sign of any injury. She was fine after that. We figured maybe she'd pulled a muscle or something."

Except she hadn't, had she? Jack thought bitterly. Otherwise she wouldn't be here. She'd been injured and she hadn't let on. Not once. It was so typically…Carter.

And it was frustrating as hell.

"Does that help?" Daniel asked after a moment.

Brightman gave him a small smile. "It might."

Jack spun round to look at the unmoving figure on the bed. Annoyance warred with fierce pride within him and he shook his head in an exasperated gesture.

"Dammit, Carter! Why didn't you say somethin'?"

'_Probably because you were too busy yellin' at her'_, was the thought which immediately sprang to mind.

Yeah, yeah, so he was an ass. And she was too damn stubborn for her own damn good. He already knew that. It didn't help any. So he turned back around and asked the question most important to him at that precise moment.

"She gonna be okay, doc?"

"Excuse me, Doctor Brightman?"

Jack fought the urge to swear loudly as the doc's attention was once more pulled away from his questions.

"What is it, Mary?"

"Ma'am, you asked to be notified when Doctor Warner was ready to begin."

"Thank you, Mary. Check with Captain Watson… I want the General in the OR as soon as he's prepped. Oh, and I'd like to include a chest x-ray for Colonel Carter in addition to her CAT scan, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Jack blinked, his mind automatically latching onto the parts of her conversation which he didn't understand. The General? As far as he knew, he was the only General on base…and he was right here. There was only one other person he could think of, that it might possibly be. But that meant…

"Hammond's here?"

Even worse. "Hammond's in surgery?"

Oh yeah, he was missing somethin' alright.

It was almost as if he'd fallen asleep and woken up in some freaky version of reality where everything was not. Quite. Right. And getting less right by the second.

Brightman was still beats behind, good to know it wasn't just him, as she answered his earlier query about Carter.

"I'm sending Colonel Carter for a CAT scan to check for cranial trauma. I also want her to undergo an x-ray, to give us a better idea of what's going on with her chest."

Daniel gave her a shocked look. "You mean you don't know?"

"Not for certain, no." Brightman replied with more patience than Jack himself would have used in the same situation.

"That's why I've ordered the scans. They should help me determine what caused Colonel Carter's blackout and ascertain what, if any, damage was caused by it."

"She's going to be okay though, isn't she?"

"I'm sorry Doctor Jackson, but I don't want to make a prognosis without seeing the test results. Once we get the results back and I've completed my analysis, I'll be in a better position to answer your question, but we won't know for sure until then."

Daniel gave a dejected sigh, his shoulders slumping. Jack reached out without thinking, intent solely on offering a quick squeeze of the shoulder in comfort.

"Let the doc do her job, Daniel."

To his surprise, Daniel didn't react.

Even more of a shock was the fact that his hand went straight through his friend's shoulder.

"What the hell!"

Jack stumbled, unable to prevent himself from overbalancing at the unexpected lack of resistance and fell straight through the man he was trying to touch. Regaining his balance, he whipped round and frantically waved his hand in front of Daniel's face.

"Daniel?"

There was no response.

"Daniel!" Jack tried again, this time waving his hand through his best friend's head in stunned disbelief.

Oh, this was just wrong. In so many ways…

There wasn't even a twitch of reaction. In fact, as Brightman began to speak again, Daniel looked directly past him, as if he wasn't even there. Which, if his immediate actions were anything to go by, was highly likely.

"If it helps at all Daniel, I'm not overly concerned - "

The click was almost audible as everything appeared to fall into place and Jack went completely still.

"You mean I'm dead!"

He almost preferred the Goa'ulded option.

Almost.

_**o0o**_

**TBC…**

**Review Responses:**

**The Lady Reaper of the Shadows –** Yeah! Good, innit? ;)

**xdaigonstarx -** No problem. You're not the only one to be busy in RL! Hope you enjoyed your vay kay. I thought about putting the cliffhanger there…then I remembered the angry mob :D More angst coming up. Followed by some Daniel angst, I think…then some major Sam angst ;)

**SGAngeL -** Thank you! Undersanding it somewhat is fine with me. If you'd figured out exactly what was going on then I'd be a little bit peeved at myself for making it too easy. As for Jacob. He's currently sleeping and will be for some time yet. Mainly because Selmak has to heal his injuries and I haven't decided at what point to bring him back into the story. Yet.

**Ilovesg1 -** :accepts Queen of Angst title and places it next to her Queen of UST title: "I'd like to thank…" Only kidding ;) And no, it's not good but this is Jack, remember? Plus, it's not quite heart surgery but close. Anyone reading cjay's excellent 'Candlestick Chronicles'? It's similar to what she's just done to mini-jack in that… Hence the reason I've held these chapters back a bit, so they didn't clash and have anyone yelling copycat. Not that I think anyone here would, because you all seem to be very nice people ;)

**Erisinia -** Yay! Sixth sense is exactly what I was going for, thank you! Loved that film. The best of all Shyamalan's IMHO, and easily Bruce's best work. Btw, you're not the only sci-fi geek out there; It's a sad indictment of my viewing habits that I can pretty much guess the plot of any sci-fi/spook/fantasy programme on tv these days before they've even finished the teaser…

**kahless21 -** Thank you! I intend to.

**sarah -** Thank you. Hope this wasn't too long a wait.

**feb04 -** Only just! Hope this chapter cleared a few things up for you. :rereads chapter: Okay, maybe not…

**Quinndolynn -** Lol! Really? Cool! I've invented ship named after yoghurt, my life is complete! ;) Hope this chapter helped explain things a little, if not, the next one should help.

**justme -** Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Way off, hon :D If that were the case, the fic would have a character death warning on it. Cos one of my pet hates is fics that lure you in under false pretenses just to get you reading and then change half-way through… Hope you liked the next chapter.

**Sci Fi Fan Gillian -** Thank you!

**froggy0319 -** Thank you! And I promise you're getting the next chapters as soon as I can churn them out and get them beta-read.

**ChristinaS -** Good for you! And yes, you can ;)

**PhDelicious -** :blinks: That was a cliffie? Really? ;) And Jack's not an idiot, like you said he's just a wee bit confused. Which we all know happens on occasion :D And is perfectly understandable when you consider what I've just put the poor guy through. :grin: But you're pretty close with the whole glowing thing…

**Amaunetx -** Yep, you got it! Poor Jack, huh?So, yeah… :coughs: **_Around _**chapter 20, **_around_** :D I always underestimate how many chapters it'll take to get to a certain point in the fic. Of course you could say I'm being long-winded. But, as my dedicated readers, I'd kinda hope you'd tell me if that was the case…

**shetlandlace -** Glad it gave you a good start to your day and another respite from RL, hon! Hope this chapter did the same. Plus, you assume correctly. On all accounts, so to speak ;)

**kay13kl -** :waves: Hey stargatefan and best friend! I try my best to respond to all the reviews I get on here. It's probably guilt, because I don't get as much chance to respond to actual emails and am incredibly bad at doing so ;) And thank you!


	23. Chapter TwentyOne

I could put a huge long spiel in here, explaining about the suckage of Real Life and my sudden disappearance and the dreadful lack of updates resulting from it... But to be honest, to explain it all fully would take the better part of a chapter in itself and I figured anyone still reading and desperately waiting on an update, would rather read the next part of the fic than hear about my woes and lame excuses. I know I certainly would ;) So here it is. The next part of this story won't be anywhere near as long in coming, because I want to get this fic finished with before I head off on my long-awaited and anticipated vacation to warmer climes, in April.

* * *

**Part Twenty One**

Before he could even begin to come to terms with this latest startling revelation, a sudden commotion from the bed behind them gained the attention of the people around him. However, it wasn't until he heard his name mentioned that Jack managed to push back his shock and pay attention.

"Where are they taking Jack?" He heard Daniel ask Brightman.

"I'm right here, Daniel." Jack said quietly, knowing even as he did that his friend wouldn't be able to hear him. Since apparently he wasn't there at all.

"Surgery."

Surgery?

"What happened?" He heard Daniel ask quietly behind him.

Yeah, he wouldn't mind knowing that himself.

The doc sighed again, and wearily rubbed her hand across her eyes.

"Honestly? I'm not quite sure there, either."

As he listened to Daniel querying the doc, the remaining pieces slid into line with the new information. He wasn't dead. The prone figure he could just about see between the figures standing around the adjacent bed, was him. There was nobody else in what had been, and still was, his place behind the now pulled back curtain. He hadn't miraculously recovered. He was still lying there, on that bed.

He was the General requiring surgery. Not Hammond. He mentally berated himself for being ten kinds of idiot to even think it was someone else. It was yet more proof that something was very, very wrong here. Okay, so he wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box but he was usually quicker on the uptake than this!

So the person on the bed was him. Or some form of him at any rate. And yet…he was also stood here. At Carter's bedside. It didn't make any sense! But here he was anyway. He supposed he shouldn't be that surprised. It wasn't the first funky thing to happen at the SGC and it sure as hell was unlikely to be the last. But for cryin' out loud! Why did it always have to be him?

There should be rules against this sort of thing too, he thought morosely. Didn't folk realise the number it did on your head being told there were two of you? Not to mention he was getting sick and tired of being copied. Just how many Jack O'Neill's did the universe need, anyway?

Once this was over, he was adding it to his list; no more versions of Jack O'Neill to ever be made. Period.

Swallowing hard, Jack steeled himself to confirm his suspicions and stepped forward. Squeezing his eyes shut against the weirdness of what he was about to do, he walked through a nurse. Murmuring an apology, he stopped. Hoping to hell he hadn't gone too far and was going to open his eyes to find himself stood in the middle of himself on the bed. Or even worse, not far enough and was still inside the nurse. That would be simply too freaky for him to handle. And he'd seen some pretty odd things in his time.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and looked down. Even knowing what to expect, nothing prepared him for the shock of seeing the self-same features he watched in the mirror every morning, from the outside.

Struck with a sudden sense of vertigo as he stared into his own face, he staggered back, shaking his head. His mind balked, refusing to believe what it was seeing.

"Okay, that's not me!"

It couldn't be him. It just…couldn't.

The universe seemed out to prove Jack wrong as the pain in his chest roared back into full, agonising life with his fierce denial of the facts and his vision began to grey out around the edges. To his shock, the machines attached to the version of him laying on the bed registered the change. The heartbeat monitor speeded up, to the concern of those around him.

The lead nurse pulled up the bar on the side of the bed, securing it into place with a loud clink. Her mouth pursed into a grim line.

"We can't wait any longer. Let's get ready to move him!"

Jack's vision blurred and something seemed to be sapping his strength. His head felt stuffed with wool and he shook it, attempting to clear it. He was being tugged at, pulled towards the bed. Towards the man lying there. Through his gummed-up vision everything was a haze. He blinked desperately, trying to clear it of the strange fuzzy line which had suddenly appeared from nowhere.

The blurriness began to fade but the line remained, burnt into his sight like the aftereffect of staring at the sun for too long. Sucking in a shaky breath, he fought against the sensation and pulled back. As his vision cleared, he gasped in shock.

The line was actually there, not merely an afterimage. It stretched between him and well, him. Glowing brightly and looking for all the world like the stuff of which Daniel's Ascended ex-buddies were made.

Using his years of experience of dealing with increasing strangeness, he forced himself to calm down. Gradually the heartbeat on the monitor slowed down with his efforts. Bit by bit, he felt his strength returning. The tugging sensation eased, but did not disappear completely. Persistent now, it remained in the background. Pulsing in time with the glowing line doodah that he was now able to see for some odd reason.

Belatedly, he recognised it as the 'off' feeling which had had him thinking he was forgetting something important, since he first appeared in the infirmary. Jack snorted. Yeah, like there was anything much more important to forget than your own body…

He twisted his head over his shoulder, turning in a full cirle in his attempt to work out where this damn glowy stuff attached to him. He couldn't tell. It simply disappeared. Merging into the bright glow which, he now realised with quite a large amount of concern, seemed to outline his entire body.

Turning his head back around, something flickered in the corner of his eye. Frowning, he looked towards it and faded from view. Trying again, looking towards but not directly at the source of the flicker, his heart jumped with a shock which made the monitors blip again as he saw yet more lines, stretching out from him to other people in the room.

Spinning on his heel in a full circle, he saw they connected him to every person in the room. Most of them thin, faint and barely there, yet in place all the same.

"Well this is bizarre."

In fact, it was more than a little worrying. Freaky too. Kind of reminded him of silly string. A honking great tangled knot of the stuff with him at the centre. He studied the people closest to him and his jaw dropped in amazement.

* * *

"Woah!" 

Carter. Daniel. Teal'c.

His team.

No, not his team any longer but simply his friends, he reminded himself, feeling the peculiar twinge of both sadness and elation which always accompanied the thought. Even so, the lines linking him to them were more like rope. Thicker and stronger. Shining brighter than any others.

"Cool." He murmured, awed and more than a little touched by the sight, though he'd never admit it.

Raising his hand, he watched in fascination as the stronger lines rippled and moved with him. He lifted his arm and the line he was focusing on, moved with him movement. Tracing it back, he realised it was linking him to Daniel.

He looked back at his own form on the bed nearby, remembering how his actions had caused his body to react. At least, he was 99 percent by now that it was indeed his body, even if he wasn't exactly at home.

A wicked vision popped into his head and he grinned.

Lifting his arm, he jerked it sharply sideways. To his disappointment, the line simply stretched to accommodate his violent movement.

Huh.

So much for that idea.

His resultant sigh came out as more of a growl. What the hell was the point of this stuff if he couldn't do anything with it!

He glared at the lines in annoyance before one of them caught his eye. It appeared again to be slightly different from the rest. It was nothing immediately noticeable. There was simply, something about it…

Cocking his head to one side, he frowned and studied the lines carefully, trying to work it out. After several moments, during which he was positive he'd sent himself cross-eyed, if 'walks through walls' people were able to go cross-eyed, he thought he'd got it figured.

It could, possibly, be explained away by him imagining things or even more wishful thinking but that line, the one connecting him to Carter, looked to him to be more vibrant than the rest. He swung round to compare it to Daniel and T's. Yep. No doubt about it. Definitely richer in its glow than all the others. Except for his own, of course.

Hmm. This had distinct possiblities.

Maybe he couldn't slap Daniel in the face with his own hand, but perhaps…he could do something for Carter?

After all, his own body had responded to his earlier freaking out and her link to him was only marginally less…glowy. It was worth a try. At least he'd be doing something useful.

Trouble was, he didn't even know where to start. He chewed on his lip thoughtfully for a moment. Something small, he decided.

He concentrated hard and raised his hand to smooth back the stray lock of hair which had fallen over her face, but it made no difference. To his dismay, his fingers simply slid through it like he was trying to touch air. He lowered his hand and pounded his fist on his thigh in frustration.

It was no use. The one time when he could reach out to her without running the risk of somebody being smart enough to interpret his gesture correctly, and he couldn't. Even. Touch. Her.

It was some huge, cosmic conspiracy, he was certain of it.

Somewhere out there, the shades of all the snakeheads he'd accounted for over the years were laughing their slimy little heads off at him. He just hoped this whole mess didn't mean he'd be meeting them any time soon.

"More problems?"

The sound of Daniel exercising his sarcasm skills lifted him from his depressed musings.

"Before it stops his heart. Again."

Okay, now that did not sound good.

Daniel blanched and Jack was fairly certain that he wasn't the only one.

"Oh." Daniel said quietly.

Jack snorted softly. "Oh? Think how I feel, Danny-boy!"

There was never a good day to be told you were in danger of pushing up daisies. At least he assumed it was still him they were discussing. Nor was it helped any by the ache in his chest morphing into an insistent throb.

Another flicker of light made him turn his head away from their conversation. He realised it belonged to his body as the crew wheeling, well, him, out for surgery went past. The link between them shifted and stretched with the movement and the sensation of being pulled along returned with a vengeance.

By his side, Daniel sucked in a ragged breath.

The sound echoed loudly in the sudden eerie silence which pervaded the area. Looking around, Jack saw that the entire Infirmary had virtually ground to a halt as his figure was wheeled out, pale and silent.

Jack shuffled his feet, uncomfortable with the amount of attention his still form seemed to be attracting. He glared about him, the action making him feel better despite the fact that no-one could see him.

"Don't you people have anything better to do?"

No-one moved or turned their attention away.

Obviously not.

"God, Jack!" Daniel murmured bleakly. "You can't even manage to keep out of trouble when you don't go through the gate, can you?"

"Hey!" Jack complained indignantly. "It's not like I asked him to shoot me!"

"O'Neill will not give in without a fight, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c replied. "He is a survivor."

"Yeah," Daniel agreed, sounding somewhat sad. "He shouldn't have to be, though."

Jack looked down at his shoes, grateful that they couldn't actually see him. From the heat he could feel in his face, the odds were that he was doing something that Jack O'Neill never did - blushing.

"Yeah, well…" he muttered awkwardly. "Que cera, c'est la vie, stercus accidit, whatever."

_'Shit happens.'_

And then you died.

Except he was kind of hoping that maybe, perhaps, he could give that part a miss this time around.

He shook his head as he gazed down at himself once more. The man on the bed was pale. Lined. Scarred. Haggard and drawn. Man, he really was old. He'd never really noticed before. You didn't see the small differences age made when you lived with it every day.

Jack grimaced. No wonder Carter had opted for her bright young thing instead.

"You've looked better, buddy," he told himself honestly.

If he hadn't been worried before then he was now. If this was him…damn he was in trouble.

Distracted by his thoughts, the force attempting to pull him away overpowered his efforts to stay precisely where he was and Jack was tugged back down into darkness.

_**TBC...**_

* * *

Thoughts? 


	24. Chapter TwentyTwo

**Author's Notes:** Now, I don't want any howls of protests regarding this chapter, you hear me? ;) ****

Part Twenty-Two

Daniel found himself staring numbly at the empty doorway through which the unconscious body of his best friend had just been whisked. He felt…lost. Adrift. As if the anchor which kept him grounded had vanished along with Jack.

He didn't know what to do. He needed to do something. He needed to help. Somehow. He needed…he didn't know what he needed, but it was to do something more than just standing here.

He flinched as a voice cut through his dazed musings.

"Doctor Brightman?"

Daniel saw the Doctor turn away to face the person who had spoken, but he couldn't force himself to look away from the door.

"Yes, Captain?" He heard Brightman say calmly.

Daniel kept staring at the door, expecting Jack to walk through it any second. Large as life, with his hands in pockets and smirk on his face a mile wide, saying, 'Ha! Got you!' without the need for words.

Except Jack wasn't going to be walking anywhere, any time soon.

And yet, as he listened to the Captain's question, he found himself hoping.

"Is the General going to be okay, ma'am?"

He found himself holding his breath as he waited for her answer. Even though rationally, he knew she couldn't tell him any more than she had several minutes ago.

"Doctor Warner is the best there is. I'm sure he's doing everything he can."

Daniel smiled bitterly. An answer without being an answer. How very diplomatic of her.

"Okay, let's get back to work everyone." Brightman continued. "We've still got a lot of sick people here! Let's get moving!"

He looked around to see virtually all of the infirmary still staring at the very same doorway and felt anger flare up inside. What the hell did she expect from them?

They'd just watched the one man to whom probably everyone in the room looked up and admired, the man on whom they relied to lead them in situations like this, whisked out of the door on his way to what could only be described as life-saving surgery. And she wanted them to what…? Just carry on as if nothing had happened? As if Jack wasn't –

No. He wasn't going to go there.

He wasn't going to think about it and Jack certainly wasn't going to do it. Not Jack. It couldn't happen to Jack. It just couldn't…

An ugly thought popped up and whispered in his ear, _'it happened to Janet…'_

Daniel forced it away. He didn't want to think about that. Not now. Not ever. It had been bad enough earlier. Out there…being reminded. The noise…the smell…god…the smell…and once again everything happening around him…while he did nothing …

His stomach churned.

He'd frozen. He'd been scared. So scared that he was going to lose Sam this time. That yet another person he loved was going to be ripped away from him. This time the sister he'd never had. When he pulled the medic away from Sam and realised she was still alive…he'd lost it.

It wasn't until he saw Teal'c carrying Perry's body through the gate, that it occurred to him how carelessly he'd dismissed the life of the person who'd saved her. He'd not given even a single moment's thought to the welfare of the man who had saved Sam's life. He'd been so fixated on ensuring Sam was okay, that the possibility that the medic might have been injured, had not even entered his head.

The realisation had sickened him and he'd felt like throwing up. Just like now.

Brightman expected them all to just do the same. Act like it never happened, pretend they didn't care. Like he'd done so easily…

Who the hell did she think she was?

Logically, he knew part of it was guilt at how he'd treated Perry and that she was simply doing her job. That this was the way it was supposed to work, that this was what Jack would want. And Sam too, if he really thought about it. Someone had to take charge, there were other lives at stake. People who were just as important as Jack, to those who knew and cared about them. That Brightman was only doing what Janet Fraiser would have done had she still been alive…

But she wasn't. And logic was playing only a small part in his thinking.

His eyes burned as he tried to figure out just where the hell it had all gone wrong today. This morning he'd been on the verge of figuring out where the Furlings had gone. Close to potentially finding them a new set of allies in the struggle against Anubis.

Sam had likewise been secluded in her lab, doing her best to prove to everyone that she was happy. Whilst Jack had been in his office as he was supposed to be now, however strange that seemed. Letting everyone know that his lack of happiness was due to the mountain of paperwork awaiting him, instead of being inversely proportional to Sam's cheerfulness.

And now… Now… Daniel finally it admitted to himself, the burning in his eyes turning to stinging as he blinked back tears of frustration. Jack was on the brink of dying and Sam…

Well who knew what was wrong with Sam?

His hopes of finding new allies seemed to be a cruel transaction if it meant that Jack and Sam's lives were the price they had to pay.

_**

* * *

**_

"Daniel Jackson."

It took Daniel a few seconds to register that Teal'c was speaking to him.

"Daniel Jackson."

The was a definite note of concern in his friend's voice, as he spoke his name in what was obviously not his first repetition.

Daniel shook his head, trying to clear it of the fog clinging to his thoughts.

"Sorry, Teal'c. I wasn't listening…what were you saying?"

"I was asking if you were alright."

The reply came not from Teal'c but from the Doctor and Daniel felt anger flare up white-hot once more. What dumb kind of question was that? One of his best friends was in danger of dying and the other was unconscious on the bed for no apparent reason. Of course, he wasn't alright!

He opened his mouth to grind out a snappy retort and Brightman closed her eyes, shaking her head. A look of chagrin shot across her face.

"Sorry, that was a stupid question. Forget I asked it."

Daniel closed his mouth. Perversely, he felt even more angry with her now that she'd apologised, as he had no good reason to vent his frustration at her.

"I believe this day to be taking its toll on us all Doctor Brightman."

His anger vanished. Snuffed out like a flame as he heard Teal'c come as close as he was ever likely to get, to admitting that he too was finding this whole mess difficult. It reminded him that he wasn't the only one struggling here and suddenly he felt incredibly weary.

Brightman's smile at Teal'c's words, did little to erase the visible tiredness which lined her face. Daniel wondered if he looked the same. He probably did.

"I think you're right, Teal'c." She said.

"What do we do now?" Daniel asked dully.

The flicker of surprise which crossed Brightman's face made him want to burst out into laughter. Slightly hysterical laughter.

It was kind of ironic. Daniel Jackson asking to be told what to do… He was normally the one offering suggestions or already out there, doing what he thought was best. But right now, he was coming up empty. He didn't want to think about what was happening and when he did…he found himself at a loss.

He just wanted someone tell him that Jack and Sam were going to be okay.

But that wasn't going to happen.

"Alright…" Brightman said, recovering quickly and waving an equally weary-looking nurse over.

Daniel realised with a start that whilst he had been lost in his thoughts the infirmary had become busy once again. He wished he found it so easy to forget what had happened.

No, that was unfair, he thought resignedly. They hadn't forgotten, they were just not letting it affect their work. As much as he wasn't a fan of the military mindset of locking it away and moving on, at that moment he desperately wished it was something he was capable of doing.

Right now, in this state, he was no good to anyone.

"Daniel, Teal'c, I want you both to go with Captain Rush. She'll give you your post-mission check-ups, make sure you're both physically okay..."

She smiled wanly. "No point tempting fate."

"And then what?"

Brightman's smile dropped and Daniel figured he should probably be feeling guilty. He simply couldn't summon the energy.

"Let's just get you both checked out first, okay? Then we can go from there."

Daniel opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again. He couldn't be bothered to argue. What was the point?

Captain Rush stepped forward, doing her best to muster up an encouraging smile.

"Doctor Jackson? Teal'c? If you would follow me please?"

Daniel registered through the haze surrounding his thoughts that she was the one who had asked about Jack earlier. Not that it did any good, he thought bitterly.

He closed his eyes in frustration as he sat on the edge of the bed Captain Rush indicated.

It still angered him. Except he wasn't sure why. He didn't know whether his anger was aimed at himself…

Or at Doctor Brightman for not being Janet Fraiser…

Or at Jack for being stupid enough to get himself shot when he should have been safe…

Or even Sam for not being here when he needed her.

"Doctor Jackson?"

He opened his eyes to find Captain Rush looking at him in concern. It was an expression he was getting sick of seeing aimed at him. Dammit, he wasn't one of the people half-dead or dying!

"Would you stop looking at me like that!"

She looked startled then her mouth settled into a thin line.

"If it's okay with you Doctor, I'm ready to begin."

Daniel's eyes closed in mortification this time. Great. Yet another member of the medical staff whom he'd managed to upset. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He'd always got on well with the men and women who manned the infirmary. When Janet –

He snapped the thought off, before it was even half-finished and opened his eyes, blinking back tears

"Can we just get this over with?"

Captain Rush nodded her head and Daniel was chagrined to realise that he didn't even know her first name.

"Certainly, Doctor Jackson."

He swallowed hard.

What the hell was he supposed to do if he lost Jack and Sam as well?

He really wished Janet was here.

** TBC...**


End file.
